Just another weight loss drama

In my struggle to shed off the whooping lbs I have gained in a year, I decided to regularly jog over the weekends. From 120 to a shameful 140 lbs at a height of 5’3″. Damn, I have to slap these figures on my face everyday.

I would jog either in the morning or evening. When I have the courage to break my long hours of sleep every weekends, I jog at around 6 to 8 in the morning. When I can’t drag my lazy ass from bed, I have to force myself to jog in the evening. If an athlete is reading this, I will surely receive a huge spank on my face. You call that one hour of jogging as a sacrifice? Perhaps, we can exchange shoes until before Christmas? That would make me finally return to my extra small blouses and pants. 

I am now painfully learning what other people kept saying about weight gain. Unlike money, weight is easier to gain than lose. Once it’s in your body, you have to endure countless sacrifices to lose it.

I started jogging a month ago and to my biggest disappointment, I gained a heartbreaking 2 lbs. I used to battle 138 lbs and now I am screaming 140 lbs. God, what happened? Begging and kneeling before you, please stop this vicious spell in my life.

I have related this story to some of my friends and this is what they all said, “Dude, those 2 lbs might be the muscles you have gained.” Muscles? Another thing I wouldn’t want to gain after the fats and lbs. I don’t have plans to look like a male athlete. I know my face doesn’t count as a decent member of the female populace. But for heaven’s sake, I don’t want to gain male hormones and features! Muscles are never the welcome additions to my life. Why can’t God transfer it to the male populace instead?

To perhaps console my dwindling self-esteem, a friend gave me a lecture on excercise, weight gain and muscles. My friend told me that I am still in the early stages of my efforts to lose weight. Normally, people who engage in regular exercise develop muscles. After some time, prolonged and regular excercise will lead to weight loss. Without further Google research, I believed my friend. Perhaps I am still in the stage, where my body is adjusting and coping with my forced routinary weekend jogging. This could also explain why my legs feel like a truck of  logs from Monday to Tuesday.

I’m learning a lot from my efforts to shed off that heavy monster that entered my body. In God’s time, I hope I will gain or I mean lose something from this hard sacrifice that I have  to live every weekend.

Lesser sleep means more weight

In my younger years, I never thought that weight will become a problem that will haunt me everyday. Years passed and I became the person I never thought of. I used to hate people who weigh everyday and would freaked out over a line of weight gain. Today, I imbibed the person I hate. Every time I stepped on that metal scale, I wanted the pointer to stop or move back. Wait,  this is not me at 138 lbs and still counting… grrrr!

I am not the best person to carry out a diet, I mean a “strict and disciplined diet.” I eat what I want to eat. The next best remedy for me is exercise but the courage to start is the problem. While I lack sleep during weekdays, I overcompensate myself during weekends. I sleep for almost 10 hours and when I wake up, it’s usually past lunch already.

I always thought that sleep deprivation is in one way or another synonymous to food deprivation. When you don’t eat, you are depriving your body of its needed nutrients. In effect, it could possibly lead to weight loss. In the case of sleeping, I thought the system works the same. Lesser sleep means depriving your body of its needed rest. In effect, you lose something and it contributes to weight loss too. To my biggest surprise, I was wrong.

While watching the Philippine Edition of The Biggest Loser, I learned that sleep deprivation could contribute to weight gain and even Diabetes. I googled additional sources and it was true enough. The simplest explanation I received was during the state of sleep, our body is breaking down more glucose. People who deprive themselves of sleep is altering this normal process of our body. In effect, our system can’t fully transform or decompose all those glucose. In the long run, the practice of sleeping late leads to weight gain and worst is acquiring Diabetes.

Lesson learned: Not all forms of deprivation leads to weight loss. In this case less sleep, more weight.

Sleep deprivation equates to weight accummulation.

I now hate weight

I used to get irritated over skinny and weight conscious people. I have friends and colleagues who went to the extent of checking the Nutrition Facts label of the items they are about to buy. If the item exceeds their calorie limit, they deprive themselves and resort to bland oatmeal biscuits. I also get annoyed by people who regularly weigh themselves and would react much over a line of weight gain.

I started at 110 lbs after college. I would even fit in to an extra small  blouse. I was contented with my 28 inches waist line and a feet of size seven.  At that time, I never felt fat nor thin. I was fine with my shape. When I started Graduate School and learn to eat in different restaurants during Saturdays, I gained unhealthy fats. I don’t remember my weight but I know I gained some because a lot of people were noticing it and my few clothes are shrinking. I wasn’t after all affected by such weight gain. I didn’t care whenever people kept telling me that I am fat.

After some time, I became so unhealthy. I started getting UTI and developed Hypotension. Abrupt changes at work led me to experience the unhealthy weight loss. I haven’t noticed the change in my body. I know I was sick but I barely felt that I was losing weight. It was only my former boss who told me that my uniform is getting so loose over time.

When I finished Graduate School, my worries and workload lessened.  My expenses declined and I have a little extra money to indulge on shopping and trying out different restaurants. It was also at this point when I started the exhausting job of teaching.

The additional money and my evening teaching schedule unfortunately brought me to my record breaking weight, 138 lbs and counting…. Damn it! How did I gain those extra lbs in a span of a year? The culprit was my everyday eating practice.

I usually take heavy merienda whenever I have evening classes. After hours of standing and exhausting my voice, I feel so tired with an empty  stomach. So before I end the day, I drop by Taco Bell or Mc Donald’s for dinner. I usually order a rice bowl, burger, fries paired with large soda.  This practice became my everyday itinerary. After the heavy fastfood meal, I travel home,  hit the bed and sleep.  That was how I end the day over the past months.

I never realized the impact of such unhealthy habit.  Refueling myself with food followed by a deep sleep was the culprit. I CAN FEEL MY WEIGHT GAIN. My knees are starting to ache, my size at my favorite shops rose from extra small to medium and a lot of people are rendering the same comment. Tumaba ka! Errrrr! For the first time in my life, I felt agitated and conscious over my big tummy.

I wanted to shed off those fats the healthy way. I don’t want to receive illnesses in exchange for weight loss. No way anymore! My problem now is how?

My eating habits and capacity changed. Unfortunately, I am not brave and disciplined enough to leave such practice.  I don’t have self-control. I don’t have the resistance to eat.

I want to exercise. Problem is when? I am exhausted during the weekdays. During weekends, I consume too much hours for sleeping. I wake up late and sleep a lot in the afternoon.

The words, diet and exercise, were not part of my vocabulary. Today, I need to understand and learn to use these words. But how? I think the more appropriate question is how can I push myself?

As I am writing this post, I am watching the Philippine edition of The Biggest Loser. What a coincidence..