Before October ends

I never had intentions of blogging. I knew I will be writing another sad post. But then again, I promised myself that I will keep this blog alive. I have to upload a post at least once a month.

I was about to start my daily exercise when I decided to logged in. No entry for October and it’s the 31st already.

My career plans are still on status quo. From the looks of everything, the only way for me to progress is to move to another job. Before moving on, I have to undergo the process of job search again. For someone in her 30s, finding a job becomes more challenging especially if your portfolio does not speak of any supervisory experience. I check my Job Street account once in a while but  nothing interests me. A few days ago, I revisited a previous company that interviewed me many years ago. There was a position that suits my expertise. It’s a different position though. I was in the brink of submitting my resume not until I checked their reviews on Glassdoor. This website serves as a blessing and a curse. It’s great to have a central feedback system from the employees of different companies. But the negative feedback are disgusting and will make one think twice of pursuing the application. Unfortunately for this company who interviewed me years ago…. the reviews are too negative. Their acceptance rating are relatively low, compared to the average of other companies. So there, I did not pursue the application.

I have become more confused. I’m not sure if I should still pursue my intentions to leave my current job and employer. The worsening traffic in Manila has also discouraged me to apply for other companies situated in the central business districts of Makati and BGC. Friends and relatives who work in those areas devote almost 8 hours a day just for travel. Four hours in the morning and another four hours in the evening under worst conditions.

Added to all my worries, my financial management issues remain unresolved…. It’s hard to grow up. It’s harder when you are forced to grow up.

While the status of my job / career remain unquestionable, part of me wants to excel in other fields of discipline. I wanted my freelance work to prosper and my blog life to progress. I maintain another blog that is “happier”, “livelier” and I guess, more positive. My long term dream is to be recognized by a brand, become partners with them or obtain a part time work /partnership from blogging. Although I don’t want to level up to excessive commercialism, I hope to level up my blogging and writing portfolio. If I can’t get promoted or progress at work, maybe in other domains.

Every now and then, I fear that I would retire and die with nothing. If I will not have my own family, I want to be respected in my domain. I want to excel at least in one area. If my current job will not provide it, at least other fields like blogging, writing and recently, prettifying my instagram account. Hahaha This is a new found hobby I discovered lately. I love doing flat lays, editing photos and hoping to land on a spread of a lifestyle magazine… or become a part of a brand / company with this hobby.

So there goes my rant again. 🙂 Apologies for spreading some negative vibes here. Despite the struggles, I can’t wait for the day when I will write a happy post again.