Back after 11 years

The past week! It was a whirlwind. Saying it was a rollercoaster ride is even an understatement. I started the week with a job interview. Yes, I’m admitting it here for the first time. I’m an active jobseeker again. Truth is, I fixed and updated my Jobstreet account a month ago. It has become a routine for me to check my Jobstreet account before I get to sleep. On one hand, It doesn’t feel good to be at this stage. Part of me feels that I’m becoming a traitor to my own company. On the other hand, I knew that this is only my point of escape. I’m tired of feeling miserable. Those tears and self-pity moments, it will never end on its own. I need to stand up for myself.

I have attended interviews from three different companies. The first two appeared as hopeless cases. They never told me that I was rejected. The classic scenario of waiting game became my fate. It has been a month for the first company and a week for the second company. I guess it’s time to place closure. The last interview I had happened last Monday. It came in perfect timing because I was on leave. I’m scheduled for the last and final interview to the VP last Friday. Unfortunately, I declined the opportunity. I outweighed the travel cost and time I have to spend. As it appears, location became my problem. The job pays well but sure enough, it has it own set of stress levels. If traveling to and from work already gives me a source of stress, I’m afraid that I cannot be at my best. Sigh..My only consolation here is that I was able to secure a job within one month of job search.

So there, after three companies, I’m back to start again. This time, I’m becoming more afraid and worried. I don’t know how many more companies and interviews I have to attend. In the first place, I’m not even sure if there are still companies who are willing to give me a chance. I never imagined myself to be in this stage again. The last time I felt like this was 11 years ago. Same months, around May to August of 2004, I was beginning to feel worried that I might not be able to secure a job. I got my first job offer in June 2004. I declined the opportunity. (This makes me feel that history is repeating on me 11 years after.) The pay was so miserable! I cannot imagine myself working in Makati’s business district while feeling so pathetic with the diminutive pay. Added to this, I didn’t like the nature of the job. I don’t see myself in sales and telemarketing. I waited again for another two months and the rest became history. The job I searched for four months gave me a home for the past 11 years. F@#K! I’m beginning to become a sentimental fool again.

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