Freudian Slip

I started this post yesterday. I don’t know what happened but the original post vanished. I thought I was able to finish this entry in time before my overtime work. Something came in the way (an upset stomach) that forced me to hide from everyone else. 🙂 I badly needed silence and seclusion. Immediately after relieving myself, I received the deployment order from my colleague. It’s time to get things done. I closed the lid of my laptop and assumed that my draft was automatically saved. When I went back to my workstation, I don’t remember logging out of my account. On a usual day, I would continue blogging at home. But my exhaustion made other plans.

I checked my wordpress account this morning and much to my surprise, my drafts folder was empty. How frustrating! Having no choice, I have to reconstruct all the adrenaline of my outpouring emotions. And yes, you can guess it right. That was another blog post that was conceived right after an incident.

Anyway, here it is 🙂

Freudian Slip. This is a favourite! If it is a pair of shoes or bag, this will always be the main content of all my credit card transactions and shopaholic attacks. If it was a dish, this will surely be my guilty pleasure and the reason for my expanding and widening belly. It’s a concept I learned in the study of Human Behaviour. Unfortunately, I learned and understood the concept from my dearest friend T. My professor in Psychology 101 failed to discuss it and I can claim this to be true because I was never absent in his class. I only skipped classes in college three times, one was when I joined an academic competition, I sought the assistance of a tutor in Statistics, and that one instance when I joined my classmates for boycotting our last subject.

I remember learning Freudian Slip through a hilarious incident at the workplace. Female Colleague A, who serves as our team leader, was distributing our respective tasks in our station room. There was male Colleague B whose real gender confuses everyone. And as you can sense it, Colleague B has been suspiciously tagged as a member of the happy and gay community. Everyone was focussed on their respective assignments when Colleague A called the attention of Colleague B. Much to everyone’s surprise, Colleague A called Colleague B as Baby Girl.

Baby Girl eto oh, yung para sa ‘yo.”

OMG! Everyone pretended to be more busy. No one dared to look at each other. One thing sure, when the eyes of my friend T and I meet, our control hormones will fail. We will erupt in full laughter and everyone else will follow. Good thing though, the reflexes of Colleague A came to her rescue. Colleague A turned her attention to a younger female colleague.

After the incident I heard my friend T saying, that was a perfect FREUDIAN SLIP.

I didn’t seek for further explanation. I immediately understood the concept. True enough, this was just one of those rare moments depicting that experience is the best teaching approach.

spur of the moment

unexpected

caught in the act

unconsciously saying something you really  mean

that unconscious mind.. thank you for coining the term Sigmund Freud!!!

Seeing people commit this unconscious act gives me those rare yet great source pleasure. And yes I admit, I get mean and hideously naughty at some times.

While it has been a great entertainment to watch people commit their own Freudian Slip, I will not pretend to have clean hands. I have my own share of Freudian Slip moments and one happened yesterday. And yes, the real reason for this post is just about to start. Hahaha The previous paragraphs served as a brief introduction. lol

Colleague Z related an encounter he had earlier. Z went to another office that houses a group of Academic Supervisors. These Academic Supervisors report directly to one Academic Director. The Academic Director entered the room announcing that she was waiting for everyone for the meeting to start. Turns out, the Academic Supervisors thought that the meeting was already cancelled. The Academic Supervisors were claiming that an office personnel informed them of the cancellation. According to Z’s narration, the Academic Director went out to probably verify the office personnel who announced the alleged cancellation. When the Academic Director returned to the office of the Academic Supervisors, her tone was already different. As Z described it, the Academic Director was no longer diplomatic. She was raising her voice, there was sarcasm attached to it, and one can easily sense tension. The Academic Director was insinuating a demand to follow her. This was the end of Z’s accounted narration.

Prior to relating the incident, Z threw a random question on me. Z asked me how do I see the performance of the Academic Director. I told him my honest and “edited” opinion. (Oh yes, I don’t trust Z that much.) I told Z that the Academic Director is doing her job. Although her rookie year has points for improvement. I also relayed my sentiments that sometimes, the Academic Director can’t be blamed because she didn’t expect the position. When some reorganisation and resignation happened, the tables turned and the current Academic Director was forced to take the helm.

After I rendered my opinion, Z expressed his own sentiments. The way I understood it,  Z’ thinks that the Academic Director has became rude and harsh. The behaviour of the Academic Director was way too inappropriate for the Academic Supervisors, who are “professionals,” PhD holders or doctors in their respective fields of disciplines. When I heard that last clause… “because they are doctoral degree holders,” something ignited in me. Or as Sigmund Freud describes it, my unconscious overpowered me.

I told Z that

PhDs, doctoral degrees and all those alphabets attached to a person’s last name do not serve as my reference point for RESPECT. Having those academic degrees do not entitle anyone to earn my respect

So admittedly, I had my own Freudian Slip moment here.

It’s good as I said, I don’t get impressed with people who have advanced academic degrees. How ironic because I work in the academe. I’m involved in the business of education and yet I’m one shouting evidence of contradiction. I have explained my sentiments on this matter in a previous post.

My mistake is that I allowed my emotions and convictions to blew me away. I became partial to the Academic Director and Colleague Z was taking the side of the Academic Supervisor. I unconsciously ventured to a debate and I had this firm sentiments to prove that what I’m claiming is right and incorruptible. When Z used the premise that the people  disrespected by the Academic Director have high and multiple educational attainment, I should have responded with the the idea that,

everyone deserves to be respected regardless of position and educational attainment. More academic degrees do not deem more respect. Academic degree is an achievement while respect is something else. And just because you have achieved something, it will automatically impose more respect. The two are not synonyms or precursors to each other.

Oh well, me and my unconscious mouth. Hahaha I forgot to say, Z is pursuing is his doctoral degree. So I will not be surprised if I’ve accidentally stepped on his ego. I know I’m bad. But at the end of the day, no… I’m still firm with my concept about respect and academic achievement.

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Meanwhile at the workplace ….

My life evolves on these areas

1. Home / Family

2. Friends : the real ones

3. WORK WORK WORK

I’m not married. I don’t have kids. I’m not committed to anyone. So as you can see, my life is monotonous, boring, routinary, predictable … PERFECTLY BORING. This applies roughly 90% of the time. The remaining 10% represent both pleasant and unpleasant surprises. More often than not, the primary source of surprises is WORK and the WORKPLACE.

Years ago, when I still have a handful of colleagues turned real friends, I have to admit that I’m more updated with both the official and unofficial pieces of information. When I moved to a department that directly reports to the Office of the President & CEO, it unfortunately started the time when my real friends started to find better working opportunities. The tradeoff and the irony at the same time. Even though I’m so near the highest office, my radar to the official and unofficial news at the workplace weakened. Although I found another deadly, reliable, convenient and alternative source. You can easily guess.. FACEBOOK! When something bad happens in the morning, I can easily discover details through my newsfeed. When someone quarrels someone, when someone was forced to resign, when someone gets silently agitated from someone… Facebook serves as my official source of reliable information. I don’t even need to exert any effort. My newsfeed is like a Library that can read my mind and immediately hands out all the information … I need and don’t need to know.

And recently, these are the unofficial turned official news I discovered from my newsfeed

1. Colleague A who happens to be a beauty title holder is accused of engaging to some illicit affair with a married colleague … Only to later learn, I was the last person to discover the issue. Not really a big deal for me because I’m not friends with Colleague A. I don’t have transactions with her. I just remember one incident when she held my parcel for several days. All the while I thought that the inefficient being is the courier. Turns out, my parcel was just sitting in the receiving bin. What I realize here, it takes a negative experience to even know the name of another colleague.

2. A colleague who became a classmate and friend during my graduate school days was forced to resign from his current post…. sad sad sad Graceful exit that is but I feel bad that my colleague’s fate has to end up that way… He got involved to a fiasco that placed other colleagues, who are his real friends, in a bad light. This colleague lost not just his job but his friends. Jobs and careers that were lost can be rebuilt over time. But friendships  built over time and shattered in a snap can never be recovered. Time may heal all wounds but the scars left behind would always give that reminder of hate and betrayal. I will not be able to see this colleague again and given the situation, there’s no chance for me to render my farewell. I do hope that he can start a new life and in the future, he can patch up things with the friends he will be leaving behind.

3. The colleague who humorously ranted about her rejected loan application from SSS. I share the same experience and when I tried to track down the chain of events, it boiled down to the fact that the responsible persons at the workplace are not performing their basic task. My anger and disappointment were awakened but before releasing my own sentiments, I saw another colleague who tried to act as a saving angel. The stupidity of this colleague gave me much needed quota of laughter arising from another person’s stupidity. Gaaahd, this colleague did not realize that she is part of the accountability and the status message was a crytpic insinuation of their department’s inefficiency. Facebook particularly personal accounts is a reliable source of feedback. Unfortunately, some people tend to forget that Facebook is not the right avenue to address problems and issues. And sometimes, you need to be wise enough to read hidden meaning on those cryptic status messages.

4. There’s also this Colleague B who has been the subject of everyone’s opinion. Haha Another colleague has performed a self-proclaimed diagnosis to Colleague B. He was saying that Colleague B is always seeking for attention. Maybe it has something to do with how she was raised. Colleague B always feel the need to compete, stand out, protect her self-interest and declare that I AM PERFECTLY RIGHT. Hence, people who are complaining against her are perfectly stupid. I’m not Facebook friends with Colleague B but since we have common friends, it’s not hard to see all the non-sense she is making. 🙂 I’m not stalking her but other colleagues, who have been sharing her attention seeking and gossip magnet status messages, have been effortlessly reaching my newsfeed. In other news, Colleague B shares a resemblance with Colleague A. They belong to the same department and share the same accusation. And yes, Colleague A is also alleged to engage to some extra marital affair with another male colleague. True or not, I don’t care. But I can’t help but think of Colleague B as a presidential daughter turned sister wannabe. Colleague B seem to love exposing herself to all the attention in the world.  I will not be surprised if she will hold a presscon at the workplace. Oh wait, she did!!! Pardon the details but her recent issue caused a management committee meeting.

I think I’m getting longer and useless here. 🙂 I’m thinking of creating another blogging series here.

What I discovered in Facebook lately….

Meanwhile in Facebook…

Hahaha

Whatever, I have to say that Facebook has been giving me my much needed and unexpected comic relief… and some reasons to blog hahaha

Attempting to revive

Oh hi there! We meet again my dear space in wordpress. I’m almost in the brink of making a hiatus here. As always, I have plenty of useless excuses. 🙂 Let me name them although at the end of the day, they will not really explain my absence here.

1. Work – What’s new? Truth to be told, work load turned out to be lighter over the past 6 months. My major project ended last September. My teaching load was lessened. Everything became stable for me. I was enrolled to a short professional course. But come to think of it, work didn’t really constrain me. Probably much of my sadness, uncertainty and pending decisions with my current work made me disengage in blogging. I’m aware that I will end up writing the same post, same sentiments, same issue, same rant… the more I hate myself now.

2. My debts – And they are still a pile of credit card debts…. There’s nothing new and progressive about this. So I guess it’s better to shut up.

3. The weight gain struggle – I remember being an active participant of the Weekly Photo Challenge. I’m able to prepare one entry every week. I was a consistent participant. Over the past months or even years already, weekend was all about zzzzzzz. Something I never anticipated. I never realized that weight gain can actually correlate with laziness. More food, more weight, more laziness.

4. Blogging is losing its luster on me. – Noooo as much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m beginning to manifest this kind of behaviour. My absence here is a sufficient evidence. My failure to visit other blogs also contributes. Since I’m mentioning this already, I’d like to express my heartfelt gratitude to other bloggers who follow, visit, and leave comments. Your presence is more than enough to convince me that I should make all means to recover my writing mojo.

5. I’m maturing.. or the better term is getting old – Being in my early 30s, I’m feeling the need to take on the shoes of maturity. I have to do it. I’m pressured to make decisions that will surely shape my life. I’m nearing my middle age. I believe that whatever I do today will surely shape the outcome of my old age. My parents will soon turn 70. My special brother will surely have more needs. Although I’m thankful that he reached the age of 34, still alive and healthy. Doctors and relatives have predicted the shorter life span of my brother. In God’s grace, he is still with us. Our little family is still complete.

6. The desire to write is losing me – No, not please. Maybe I’m just lost. I’m torn with decisions especially about career and pursuing my dreams. In my case however, I’m not one of those people who were able to unite career and their dreams.

Maybe I was just caught up with other priorities. I have other concerns and most of the time, I indulged myself crying and overanalysing everything. I forgot that I have a silent space here. Or probably, because blogging requires a little effort, I allowed myself to become the indolent idiot and queen of self pity.

Haaaay… buhaaay… Oh yes, I’m still alive.