I have not been blogging here. While it may mean nothing or does not really cause any impact to my life, I’m quite worried that I’m beginning to lose my interest to blog. When the interest to write starts to fade away, I feel that everything else about this blog and my dreams are being taken away. I welcome changes and transformations, but if it entails losing my drive to write… I’m afraid that I’m starting to lose part of myself. I hope this will never happen.
Over the past years, most of my blog entries are prompted by a recent experience or memory that affected me. Most unfortunately relate negative experiences. I don’t know but for some reason, it’s easier for me to write when I’m overwhelmed with hate, anger and agitations. I want to convince myself that maybe, everything is fine and stable lately. This could possibly explain why I don’t have the interest to write. No negative experience is powerful enough to make me compose a blog post. But really, I have my own list of challenges starting from the New Journey Series. Or maybe, I’m getting used to the negative experiences. I have developed immunity to bad customer service experiences, annoying colleagues, stupid policies, and futile government offices. I need another form of negative experience to be shaken. Oh Dear God, not this time. Let me pay all my credit card debts first before giving me another burden.
life has been good to me
I’ve become a better person not to be easily affected by recurring past experiences, let me instead recall all the good and bad things that made my first 3 months in 2015.
1. I went back to school – I took a professional course that started last November. There was a delay in the continuity of my studies. In effect, I was able to complete my course just last month. It was a great decision to forego all my Fridays and Saturdays. The learning experience was priceless. Pardon some little bragging but can I just say that I got the highest score in our written examinations! Yay! 🙂
2. I was able to help a Korean tourist – A very simple deed I never regretted doing. There was a Korean national who was having a hard time withdrawing money from the local atm machine. He sought my assistance although initially, I thought he just wanted to use the machine before me. I wasn’t in a hurry so I decided to give way. Little do I know, he was asking me to guide him in the withdrawal process. It was a pleasure to help except that I don’t feel comfortable with the security guards who were keeping an obvious eye to my movements.
3. I’m getting fat. F*ck! Why is it so easy for me to develop instant appetite!!!!
4. I’m still confused about my career decision. Should I stay or leave?
5. I found a long lost Korean penfriend after 17 years!!
6. After two years, I have an upcoming trip again!!! I’m off to another country next month. Problem is…. I still don’t have the travel funds?!?
7. My addiction to bags lately are unbelievable. This is what happens when the shopaholic gets fat. All the clothes look ugly. Hence,shoes and bags are becoming attractive instead.
8. A while ago I felt like the mother of a former student .. I helped him solve his problem that prevents him to join the upcoming graduation… God.. I’m turning to a mother!!!!
9. While I know myself as the queen or martyrdom at the workplace, I realized that I’m beginning to leave this self-proclaimed image. I’ve learned means to respectfully express my disgust or simple contradiction to annoying colleagues. I learned the art of silent and hidden sarcasm. Hahahaha I’m no longer the workplace kid who always says yes and afraid to express her opinions.
10. I purchased memorial services plan. And I later realized that between my insurance policy, this plan seems to be more realistic and practical… But God, not too soon please
11. I’ve been having lone lunch breaks for one year. It’s been a year since my dearest BFF left the workplace.
12. Like the past years, I sit as one of the panelists during the thesis defense of our dearest college kiddies. When I was starting this task, I felt stupid and useless compared to my other seasoned colleagues. Over time, I realized that my office work, exposure to industry practices and reading gave me more confidence. I was no longer the inferior panelist. Although I’m afraid that as I age, I will lose the interest to read and enrich myself. This is unfortunately what I observe with some old educators….I don’t want to become one of them.
It’s TGIF and this is one of those rare times I can give myself more than 4 hours of sleep. Maybe this lousy post can suffice for a monthly update… for the sake of making at least one post in a month.