Interrupted

Most of my fellow Filipino netizens have surely heard or seen that viral video of the interrupted graduation speech. I have read praises, commendations and words of compassion for the deprived kid, before I was able to watch and understand the story behind everything. When I finally had the chance to watch the entire video clip, I never felt the sentiments of the majority. This can be explained by the fact that I work for a school. I know how it is to be in the shoes of teacher and the people behind the school’s administration. I have seen colleagues who were complained and quarreled by parents not satisfied with their children’s report card. There were some unfortunate colleagues who were unfairly treated. Some decided to remain silent, keep their composure and treat it as another incident or probably, learning experience.

While my knowledge about the kid’s plight is very limited, I felt bad that everything ended to an incident that placed the school in a bad light and the kid’s identity and story be revealed and notoriously feasted by the entire country. As I see it, everyone became a loser and there was nothing good that happened after the incident. What I know for sure, so many reputations were destroyed.

Whether the accusations made by the kid and her family were true or not, my opinion remains the same. I don’t advocate and support any move that entails public humiliation. Include here those privilege speeches given by our not-so-dearest government officials. Let me not forget those celebrities who loves to bawl and seek the sympathy of the public after committing another humiliating activity. Oh wait, I have to include the trip-to-jerusalem incident of that actress and closeted gay inside a domestic flight. Hello,Php 3M damages? The only people who have all the right to seek for damages are the poor passengers. I can imagine their silent frustrations and helplessness.

While I admire the kid’s courage and bravery, I’m afraid that the kid will carry this attitude for the rest of her life. While I appreciate voicing out sentiments and letting other people how you feel, I believe that this has its own point of limitation. Everyone is bound to experience being cheated and maltreated. I have my own share. There are battles that will land on our hands, no matter how much hardwork and honesty we render. There are days when the world seem to be so unfair. There will surely be days when the Big Boss above does not seem to see and hear our sentiments. There will be times when we can’t help but blame others for our misery. Failures and disappointments are inevitable. It happens even when we gave our best foot forward. When all these unfortunate events happen, I prefer to work things out. End! I salvage the remaining self-esteem and pride I have. I try my best to bounce back and prove to myself that at the end of the day, I can make things happen.

A little message to the kid, you may feel like a failure today. Although for  me, I don’t define a salutatorian as the loser behind the valedictorian. Maybe that was how she was trained to see things.

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Feeding the hungry fishes

My paternal family is recently burdened by my cousin who seem to be engaged to some not-so-good activities. My cousin was laid off from her job and as you can sense it, something bad happened that forced her to lose her job. After this incident, the entire family is starting to discover things that we never imagined to happen. End of details, I’m not sure if any of my other relatives are secretly accessing and reading my blog.

While the other details and underlying reasons behind my cousin’s behavior still remains to be a mystery to my family, I’m quite surprised how other distant relatives seem to be informed of my paternal family’s little predicament. My cousin is partly to blame because we were later surprised with relatives, who confirmed my cousin’s attempts to borrow money. There were those who left us with harsh words and one who gave a very HUMANE suggestion to resolve my cousin’s situation.

Mag GRO na lang kaya siya, eh kung mahilig naman pala siya lumabas kapag gabi.

Given that this relative is a mother to a daughter, I never imagined how she could utter such words. I hope she realizes that even the females in the said profession never wished to be there. If given the chance, no female would ever wanted to land in that state. Oh well, this supports my self-proclaimed theory that motherhood does not guarantee maturity and better-people-in-the-making.

More than the harsh words, I’m quite agitated with my cousin being used as the focal point of all the gossipers among my distant (and pardon the term, jobless) relatives. There was one instance when my auntie received a call from this jobless distant relative. At first, this relative was asking auntie if they have visited the wake of a known family acquaintance. Auntie thought it was a call of concern. Only to later discover the real intention of the phone call. This relative was asking why my cousin was laid off from her job. It was so obvious that relative already knew the story behind everything. The gossiper was hungry for confirmation. The fish needs to be fed. And probably, feeding her gossip hungry stomach was part of her own Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

I don’t know the science behind gossiping. Although I admit that sometimes I get entertained listening with the pieces of information it yields, albeit unconfirmed and exaggerated. I will not claim to have clean hands or in this case, ears. But what I know for sure, I don’t find happiness and entertainment gossiping the predicament and agony of other people, especially with friends, acquaintances, relatives and most of all, family. There’s nothing fulfilling and self-enriching about gossiping. It doesn’t make me smarter, richer and more importantly (talking about my own set of problems), it doesn’t lessen my credit card balances. Even at the workplace, gossiping does not earn me points for promotion, merit incentive and deduct minutes from my tardiness. I also adhere to the principle of placing myself in the shoes of the victim or the subject of gossips. On those instances I’m burdened and troubled with problems and negative circumstances, it wouldn’t surely help when I discovered that I’m the subject of everyone’s story telling activities.

Life lately and some lame excuses for not blogging

I have not been blogging here. While it may mean nothing or does not really cause any impact to my life, I’m quite worried that I’m beginning to lose my interest to blog. When the interest to write starts to fade away, I feel that everything else about this blog and my dreams are being taken away. I welcome changes and transformations, but if it entails losing my drive to write… I’m afraid that I’m starting to lose part of myself. I hope this will never happen.

Over the past years, most of my blog entries are prompted by a recent experience or memory that affected me. Most unfortunately relate negative experiences. I don’t know but for some reason, it’s easier for me to write when I’m overwhelmed with hate, anger and agitations. I want to convince myself that maybe, everything is fine and stable lately. This could possibly explain why I don’t have the interest to write. No negative experience is powerful enough to make me compose a blog post. But really, I have my own list of challenges starting from the New Journey Series. Or maybe, I’m getting used to the negative experiences. I have developed immunity to bad customer service experiences, annoying colleagues, stupid policies, and futile government offices. I need another form of negative experience to be shaken. Oh Dear God, not this time. Let me pay all my credit card debts first before giving me another burden.

Given that,

life has been good to me

and

I’ve become a better person not to be easily affected by recurring past experiences, let me instead recall all the good and bad things  that made my first 3 months in 2015.

1. I went back to school – I took a professional course that started last November. There was a delay in the continuity of my studies. In effect, I was able to complete my course just last month. It was a great decision to forego all my Fridays and Saturdays. The learning experience was priceless. Pardon some little bragging but can I just say that I got the highest score in our written examinations! Yay! 🙂

2. I was able to help a Korean tourist – A very simple deed I never regretted doing. There was a Korean national who was having a hard time withdrawing money from the local atm machine. He sought my assistance although initially, I thought he just wanted to use the machine before me. I wasn’t in a hurry so I decided to give way. Little do I know, he was asking me to guide him in the withdrawal process. It was a pleasure to help except that I don’t feel comfortable with the security guards who were keeping an obvious eye to my movements.

3. I’m getting fat. F*ck! Why is it so easy for me to develop instant appetite!!!!

4. I’m still confused about my career decision. Should I stay or leave?

5. I found a long lost Korean penfriend after 17 years!!

6. After two years, I have an upcoming trip again!!! I’m off to another country next month. Problem is…. I still don’t have the travel funds?!?

7. My addiction to bags lately are unbelievable. This is what happens when the shopaholic gets fat. All the clothes look ugly. Hence,shoes and bags are becoming attractive instead.

8. A while ago I felt like the mother of a former student .. I helped him solve his problem that prevents him to join the upcoming graduation… God.. I’m turning to a mother!!!!

9. While I know myself as the queen or martyrdom at the workplace, I realized that I’m beginning to leave this self-proclaimed image. I’ve learned means to respectfully express my disgust or simple contradiction to annoying colleagues. I learned the art of silent and hidden sarcasm. Hahahaha I’m no longer the workplace kid who always says yes and afraid to express her opinions.

10. I purchased memorial services plan. And I later realized that between my insurance policy, this plan seems to be more realistic and practical… But God, not too soon please

11. I’ve been having lone lunch breaks for one year. It’s been a year since my dearest BFF left the workplace.

12. Like the past years, I sit as one of the panelists during the thesis defense of our dearest college kiddies. When I was starting this task, I felt stupid and useless compared to my other seasoned colleagues. Over time, I realized that my office work, exposure to industry practices and reading gave me more confidence. I was no longer the inferior panelist. Although I’m afraid that as I age, I will lose the interest to read and enrich myself. This is unfortunately what I observe with some old educators….I don’t want to become one of them.

It’s TGIF and this is one of those rare times I can give myself more than 4 hours of sleep. Maybe this lousy post can suffice for a monthly update… for the sake of making at least one post in a month.