Having enough

I have a lot of plans for the Holy Week break. These include

1. Cleaning my room

2. Finish a portion of my documentation project at the workplace

3. Visit blog friends and followers

4. Exercise

and as you have sensed it, nothing in the list was accomplished. So what occupies me on this rare holiday break? Zzzzzzz

I never denied that I’m the queen of procrastination and laziness. I’m typing this post at 12:38 am, a few minutes before Black Saturday started. I’m wasted and useless again. In a few more days, I will be back to work and threatened to be attacked by my bad and old habits. Dear God! Have mercy on me.

Maybe I wasted an entire holiday break. Despite my consistent laziness, there’s a little realisation that dawned on me. It was ignited by some side stories involving a close relative. I won’t mention our specific affinity. Only God knows, one of my relatives will eventually discover my silent space here.

It was a long story to begin with. I don’t even know how and where to start. I’m quite reluctant relating the entire story because along the way, I might be hinting persons and unintentionally insinuating blame to some. The relative who prompted me to write this post is living a financially abundant life. They are relatively well off among the rest of the family. They live in those fenced subdivisions, own the latest car models, and growing businesses. Despite all the enviable possessions we see, the family is silently plagued by a problem. Someone is misbehaving. Someone is engaging in an extra marital affair.

I maybe wrong or right but as I see it, MONEY is one the primary suspects.

~

Whenever I’m asked to identify my wishes, having enough to sustain my needs never fails to be in my list. Even as a kid, I’ve bear in mind to ask enough. This made me remember that instance when I first read Aladdin’s story. It dawned on me, what would I wish if the magic lamp landed on my hands.

  1. I want my special brother to be healed. I want him to become a normal kid. Unfortunately, it never happened. I learned that my brother’s condition is meant to last a lifetime.
  2. I want to have a happy life. At that age, my definition of happiness is too shallow. Like a lot of food, toys and playtime. As I age, I have different measures of happiness. At this age, I want to have more time with my parents, more vacation, writing opportunities and my own family.
  3. I want to have enough. It remains the same since I was 7 and 23 years after. I hope I have enough of what I need.

I don’t know how the third wish thrived on me. I’m sure it never came from my parents. The constant lesson my parents imbibed on me was to study well. I’m always told that if I study well, I will be able to live a better life. I can buy everything I want.  Growing up in a Catholic school, I was taught to be good to others. But having enough? Where did that come from?

I may sound like I’m trying to present myself as the purest saint. But no, I’m an equally normal sinner.

Perhaps, the overall upbringing and my constant exposure to all those drama series and local Filipino films made me hold on to the dream of having enough. I have seen how having more than enough devastated friends and families. If the tradeoff of every excessive wealth gain is an inch of unhappiness, I will never think twice. I prefer to take the hardest way. I can endure the hardships, sadness and frustrations if at the end of the day, all I have is a happy life that I can always be proud off. 🙂

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s