Worries and Wishes


After a week long house arrest, I was able to get my much deserved day out. My cousins invited me to try a new restaurant in town. I immediately said yes because I miss having quality time with them. I also believe that this is the break I’m dying to have.

As expected, we had a great time. Great food, stories and laughter are the best ways to remove every inch of stress in my system. I went home happy and fulfilled. Before I went to sleep, Nanay shared a very sad story that affected me. I was not able to sleep. Hence, this post made it.

Nanay have regular companions turned friends from the Saturday masses she regularly attends. She related the story of this lady in her early 40s. She seemed fine and healthy not until everyone noticed her evident weight loss. One of my Nanay’s friends also noticed the consistent stench odor and wetness on her blouse.

On the way home, one of Nanay’s friends dared to ask the lady about her health. The lady admitted that she has been battling breast cancer. Nanay asked if she has been getting medication like regular chemotherapy and checkups. The lady admitted another sad reality. The last time she went to the hospital was when the doctor confirmed that she has cancer. She never managed to underwent any treatment because she never had the means to afford it. Nanay’s friends asked about her family. Apparently, she never got married because she took over the responsibility of taking care of their aging parents. Her siblings are all married and struggling supporting their respective families.

After hearing the lady’s story, I felt that familiar shiver of fear again. My knees weakened and all of a sudden, I started to fear for myself. In a few more years, there’s a possibility that I would share the same fate.

My Nanay chose to become a housewife since the doctor discovered that my elder brother was born special. My Dad provided everything until early of this year. My Dad has been a great provider for more than 40 years. He deserves his own retirement. Hence, I’m left to support the entire family. I was expecting it but when Nanay told me that it’s now my turn, I secretly cried for a while. I was crying for fear and worries. Everyone now depends on me. Being strong is no longer an option but a responsibility I have to fully embrace. Aside from adequately providing for the family, I felt more fear for my future. The way it looks now, I will end up growing old on my own. I don’t have other siblings to look over me. I have my cousins but they have their own families as well.

I don’t know why did Nanay related to me the story. I just told her that I feel sorry for the lady. I never told Nanay that I felt frightened, disturbed, worried and secretly cried again for my uncertain future.

I feel weak and helpless while typing this post. But more than wishing for myself, may I request anyone reading this to utter a prayer for the cancer stricken lady. If only I could wish something for the lady, it’s for her siblings to reunite for her. I never met her but I can feel that she has a great heart, lived a good life and deserves to experience that love and happiness.

I have not been a spiritual person over the past years but I always believe that God (regardless of religion) always works in the most mysterious ways. With the help of our silent but powerful prayers, I believe that the lady’s silent wishes will be granted.

2 thoughts on “Worries and Wishes

  1. More often than not, cancer is treatable when caught early. I hope it’s not too late for her.

    Filipinos do need to get medical insurance early in life. Here ij the US, it’s a must. Even our dog is insured.

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