When that time comes

I knew that this is bound to happen.  Despite the anticipation, I never prepared for it.  As always, I adhered to my immature and lazy principle of going with the flow and taking things as they come.

I’m officially the family’s breadwinner. It used to be that my Father and I jointly provided for the family. After some time, my Father’s income started to diminish. Back then, I can feel the gradual curtain call to my Father’s capability to earn. I know it will come. It’s just that the bulk of responsibility came too early.

Unlike other retired employees, my Father’s fate was different.  Other retirees expect drops of monthly pensions after years of employment. It may not be enough, but any additional money is always a much welcomed aid. In the case of my Father, he will have nothing because he was self-employed.

My Father owned and operated a school bus for more than 40 years. He safely brought to school the children of equally hardworking parents. I believe that my Father was way different from  all the rude and undisciplined drivers we often complain because he always have loyal and returning clients. Most of his passengers are children of previous passengers.  During Christmas, he would receive more gifts than any other school bus drivers. Some of his previous passengers would even take time to pay him a visit and hand him a little cash gift.  I’m proud to say that my Father is one of the few people who loved his job and provided that service from the heart.

The problem with my Father is that he neglected his own future. He loved me so much that he invested everything on me. Having a special brother, he knew that I was the only child who can finish school. He sent me to the best school, even though it would cause us some financial trouble.

And now, the future of my Father has finally come.  My Father is finally embracing retirement and it’s time for me to step on his shoes. Part of me wanted to cry because of fear. Part of me feels pathetic because of the burden that lies ahead. But to be honest, part of me silently cries because when my future comes, who will be in charge of me then?

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