Debt Magnet

I’m on a blogging streak! Blame the rainy Sunday afternoon and sudden emotional outpour?

I was about to log out when my Facebook account popped a message from one of my contacts. Upon seeing her name, I don’t need to read the message. I knew what it is.

I have this annual unblemished record of people attempting to borrow money from me . Whenever they approach me, the first realization that prevails on me

Why me?

Do I look like someone who has money?

If you have been reading my New Journey series, you knew the answer. I’m equally struggling with all the stupid debts I made.

The first ever person who borrowed money from me was a colleague. I knew that she badly needed it because she was financing the studies of her younger sister. I gave her the money and didn’t expect to be paid.

Yes, you read it right. I never expected to get paid. I learned this principle from one of the seminars I attended. The resource person told us that if a colleague happens to seek financial assistance, it’s alright to help. This should however be coupled with the principle of providing the amount you are willing to let go. Don’t consider it as debt but points to goodwill.

In the case of my colleague, she paid me before she went ahead to heaven. I also learned that she was able to settle the full tuition fee of her sister before she passed away.

Months after, I was surprised when one of my students attempted to borrow money. I blogged about him and as much as I wanted to forgo his debt, I became disappointed with all the lies I discovered.

In the same year, I was surprised with a relative who was attempting to borrow a huge amount of money. I never gave in to my relative’s plea because I knew her tainted reputation. She has records of malversation of public funds. Fortunately for her, she was able to escape the charges. Added to this the swindling incident involving her parents. Her parents exhausted my maternal grandmother’s funds in the hope of greener pasture employment for my Uncle V. I have received more than enough warning from my relatives, but I never listened. Years after, she sought assistance by availing my professional services as a researcher and statistician. It was actually her husband who needed my help. I opened my doors and assisted them like any other professional and responsible client. Lucky for them, they were able to intentionally escape my professional services. I felt deceived but since we are relatives, I almost decided to let go. Almost, if they never spread stories that they paid for my services. Almost, if they neve bragged and promised that they would pay me.

Early this year, I was surprised when one of my former students made efforts to reconnect with me. She added me on Facebook and asked for my mobile number. At first, I thought it was a mere gesture of rekindling connections. Days after, the truth about her efforts settled. She wanted to borrow money. And I tell you, the amount can wreck my dwindling savings account. Just the same, I gave her the money. For her convenience, I even deposited it to her savings account. Months after, I never heard any word from her.

The saga continued a few weeks ago. I received an unusual Facebook message from a batchmate. It was 3 am and I was awakened by the unexpected notification. (Blame the 24-hour wifi connection and my phone, which I never figured how to place in airplane mode) Her words were direct to the point. She wanted money because of a long story, which I never bothered to read. From what I understood, she has an ailing Father and the entire burden of the family was left on her.

I was never close to that batchmate. We became classmates back in grade 5 and my last encounter with her was several years ago. We took the same FX taxi to the train station and that was it.

I relayed my experience to another friend and was caught by her words

Masyado ka kasing mabait (You are too kind)

Charity begins at home

I have my own financial troubles and I’m surprised that I was able to help others in one way or another. This is something I can’t explain and understand. Where do I get the courage to lend money when I’m an equally financially troubled individual?

If my parents will be able to read this post, I’ll surely receive a month long dose of verbal diarrhea. I’m so messed up and I’m allowing myself to do it more.

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7 comments

  1. wow. just wow! this is my first time on your blog and i just want to ask if you can lend me some money ? any amount not less than 5k will do. hahaha kidding!

    anyway i also read on Ptr. Ed Lapiz book that when you lend money you shouldn’t expect to get paid that will help you free from dissappointments of broken promises
    but not to the extend that you’ll be giving away what you have and won’t oblige them to pay because that is their responsibility.

    you have a generous heart but don’t let people abuse you, giving and helping especially those who are in need is not bad but giving to the extend that they will no longer make an effort to work is.

      1. ehh ano ba naman yung amount na yun eh batikan kana sa pagpapahiram ng pera hahaha. ibabalik ko naman pag nakaluwag luwag na hahhaha

        no probs 🙂

      2. ay dyoskopo! wag naman sana akong maging ganon … pero kung kapalit eh wagas na kagandahan simula ulo hanggang talampakan… pwede hahahahaha
        ang daldal na naten, feeling ko close na tyo haha mamaya i’ll comment on your posts naman..nakamobile lang kasi ako.. ikaw naman aasarin ko 😀

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