White Rose

M doesn’t know me. We made a few useless encounters, but that was it.

I used to be in this situation several years ago. All my efforts ended up as a pile of futile attempts. It wasn’t meant to be. I learned my lesson in the most painful and humiliating way.

With the way things are going added to this my dwindling self esteem issues,  I will never have any chance with M.  At the end of the day, I have to satisfy myself with another series of useless encounters.

Feeling hopeless, I ended up with another pathetic move. Payday is still faraway and my wallet is screaming me empty. Against my own will, I withdrew money from my hard earned savings account.

The best thing that happened that day, there were no lines in all atm machines. As I make my way, I noticed a long stemmed white rose above the atm machine. Someone intentionally left it? Very unlikely. Someone who previously used the machine might have a lot of bags and other items in  her arms.  She decided to temporarily let go of the useless white rose which could hamper her more important transaction.

It should have been a simple item left by another person.

Obviously, my mind and heart are conniving to convince me that it wasn’t as useless as it is.

I finished my transaction and left everything as it is. On the way out of the building, I saw someone from the past.  She committed something that made me feel oppressed and stupid. She and the Company President made me feel that wealthy businessmen and some poorly educated employees are nothing but heartless individuals. They see pathetic and hardworking customers as mere milking cows.

Have I forgiven her and their company President who never had the balls to face me? It appeared that way when I left the charges.  The truth however is never. My vengeful heart is secretly hoping that their company will lose customers. I want them to be fed with their own bitter pill.

I always associate white rose with love and purity. In this case, what was the white rose trying to tell me?


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