Month: May 2013

Unfriend

This post was written against my own will. As much as I want to call this as a sponsored post, it wouldn’t qualify because there’s no compensation involved. Haha Truth is, one of my friends requested me to write this.

Before I express my own sentiments, allow me to relate the story behind this post.

My friend G has been “unfriended” in Facebook by a group of colleagues. It started with one colleague. Months after, she noticed that colleague’s entire troop of friends “unfriended” her.

Being “unfriended” or removed from another person’s list of friends may mean nothing for some. Some may think that it’s just a shallow act that we exaggerated and elevated to an issue. Oh well, you have to remember that everyone involved in my friend’s story are bitches females.

When my friend discovered that she was “unfriended.” She searched for the Facebook profiles of colleague’s real troop of friends. She was surprised to discover that she can no longer access their pages. I told my friend that they might have blocked her in their lists as well.

Being “unfriended” or “blocked” from a friend’s list obviously emanates from something. We may not be able to know but at the end of the day, we can only conclude that colleagues wanted her out of their social networking life.

My friend was bothered and she kept asking me questions to explain her story. I told her that for sure, you’ve done something they secretly disliked. It’s also possible that they are not comfortable with your mere online presence.

Between “adding someone as a friend” vs. “unfriending someone” which is more honest and truthful?

In my opinion, we tend to be more honest in the case of “unfriending.”

Whenever we add or get invites to become “friends,” it doesn’t necessarily mean that we are real “friends.”

On the contrary, when we “unfriend” or remove someone from our list of friends, there’s a high chance that we see them as enemies or simply, people we don’t like to be friends with.

I hope my dear friend gets my point of irony.

In the end my dear friend, you were not really “friends” with them in real life. Hence, when they deleted or “unfriended” you in Facebook, it was never really a loss in the first place.

Weekly Photo Challenge : In the Background

silent wish

This photo was taken two years ago. Two years seem so near but when I recall all the changes that happened in my life, this span of time was never short.

It was coupled with its own unexpected changes.

During this time, I remember having a silent wish. And when I say silent, that wish only thrived within myself. I never confided it with my best friend and even to any of my blogs. It’s only my heart and mind who can betray me then.

Fast forward now, I recall that silent wish. Did the wish come true? It didn’t. Destiny made all means not to fulfill my dream despite my incessant prayers.

The next question would be, does it remain to be the sane silent wish?

It remains the same silent wish I’ve been praying for years. It’s just that this time, my wish shifted to another dimension.

There were changes but my heart still longs for that silent dream.

The disadvantage of knowing Customer Service

When I was transferred to another department, my research function took a back seat.  I went to Corporate Planning and my work life took a 360 degrees turn.  There were no definite and routine tasks.  Since the office directly reports to the Office of the President, our activities are dependent to the will of the highest man in the company. If President wants a new project, our office maps out plans and identify means to make it happen. If the President is troubled with a major problem, we act like surgeons to control the damage and patch up troubles. Our existence was defined by our dependency to the highest office of the institution.

Until recently, the President wanted to implement this major project that demands a revolutionary change in the entire organization. My Big Boss was very optimistic but in my mind, I was having doubts about the successful implementation of the project. Having been in the institution for eight years, I’m familiar with the culture, climate and the real termites that silently ruin the institution.

To make this project possible, the Big Boss sent me to various seminars and workshops about Customer Service. Oh well, one of my favorite topics to blog here. In the few seminars I’ve attended I was fortunate to discover the different dimensions of Customer Service.  It was through these learning opportunities that I have seen the real meaning of Customer Service. I particularly learned how Customer Service should be viewed by the top management to the rank and file employees. The most significant among my learning exposure is how companies should properly treat customer complaints.  In a way, I felt fortunate to learn the right approaches in addressing complaints. Come with the gain is the weight of disappointment on how other companies handle customer complaints.

The problem of being equipped with the right information is that you suddenly know what should be done, how it should be done, when should it be done and why should it be done.

In effect, the disappointed customer in me now feels more disappointed whenever I witness a failed customer service experience. I almost wanted to wear my hat as a teacher and lecture the sales personnel and the manager. But of course, the silent person in me will never do that. I still believe that they know better than me and as always, I prefer to blog the experience.

So here goes the pathetic loser again

Aside from being a part-time educator, I juggle a third job. I work as a freelance research consultant and statistician. My years in the research department and my degree in Economics opened this world for me. I assist students who are having difficulties in finishing their masteral thesis. Make it simpler, I’m a technical writer in the academe. Aside from writing, my background in the quantitative sciences earned me to be adept with different statistical techniques. In my previous job, I used to breath and eat numbers. I tell stories and weave words from numbers.

Research is what makes my heart beat apart from teaching. Unfortunately, some unexpected circumstances took away this passion. Changes were implemented in the organization. It’s a long story that can form another blog to relate the details. In the end, I decided that I’ll be better off if I leave my research post and transfer to another office.

Relating stories from numbers form one of my passions, I secretly prayed that I’ll be given related opportunities. Since I was able to establish myself, freelance works started to came in. My freelance career started with a client I never met. I survived with the marketing principle of referral or word of mouth.

My clients serve as my gateway to another client. Hence, I really ensure that I’ll do my best to serve each of them. I wanted my freelance work to grow. With my limited means, I know that there’s no other way for me to increase my network but to do my job well. This system paid off because I’m able to gain clients every year. The minimal income I receive then was used to repaint the house, purchase a few home appliances, finance my past trips, and as always, to settle the debts.

I was doing fine with my freelance works not until two colleagues ruined everything. They aren’t my friends but of all people, why do I need to suffer from them?

Most of my past freelance clients were total strangers. I never knew them at all. They were simply referred. In fact I had one client I never met. We were working things through email, text messages and phone calls. I was surprised that we finished everything. My other clients, I only meet them once or twice. We make things happen through email.

The situation was different with my two colleagues. I regularly see them everyday so there was more interaction with the work. I thought everything will emerge better. Turns out, they were one of the worst clients I’ve ever encountered.

They always caught me with the constraint of time. They left everything on me. I embraced tasks which are beyond my responsibility.

I wouldn’t really mind if they demanded a lot more. I did my job in the hope that they will do their own part. The least I wanted them to do is to settle my professional fee.

I hate to admit it but this appears to be another money issue. It is. But for me, it’s more than another deprived income.

As it appears to me, my two colleagues didn’t recognize and respect me enough as a freelancer.

They didn’t value my hard-earned skills. They never realized that it took me years to be in this profession.

They don’t see my services in the professional category. Oh well, I admit that I cannot equate to lawyers and doctors. At this point, it appears to me that the only professional services they recognize are those that are granted with licensure examinations. Since I’m not one of those with alphabets to extend my name, I can practice my profession but I don’t have the right to get paid.

I felt belittled. It didn’t took me a snap to finish their paper. It took me sleepless nights to make things happen. While they have been having the most comfortable sleep, I deprived myself of sleeping hours to beat their impossible deadline.

They made me feel useless and worthless. Sometimes I envy those service workers in the informal sector. Some of them are offering illegal services but how come they get paid? I equally abuse my body and place my health to risk because of the prolonged working hours. All I was asking was my modest professional fee that can’t even afford a chemotherapy or a dialysis session. When their paper gets recognition, I don’t ever remember receiving additional income or even some pat on the back. I don’t demand one either. My only wish is for them to settle my modest professional fee. Why did they choose to deprive me?

I can always provide extension and prolong my patience. In fact, I never asked for down payment or due dates. I just tell them to pay me once my work is done. If they cannot afford the full amount, I even told them that they can pay me in terms. A year after they received their diploma and promotion, I haven’t heard anything from them. Whenever I would encounter them on institutional events, they would simply ignore and avoid me. How disrespectful. Considering that we are all educated individuals, they only prove that education doesn’t buy values.

The last thing I want to happen is to kneel down and beg for my professional fee. It looks harsh and degrading but figuratively, that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve been discretely communicating with my two colleagues. What ironically hurts is that I seem to carry the burden of everything.

Untold Teacher Story

I will hold on to my belief that I belong to one of the most noble professions in the world.

I’m a part time college instructor.

I may not be a full pledged educator. I only became one by virtue of my part time job. But the fact that I’m teaching, I claim the rights of becoming a member of this elite group.

As much as I want to forever feel honored of being in this profession, two instances threatened to ruin everything.

Some years ago, one of my students approached me for an unlikely favor. He wanted to borrow some amount of money from me. At first I was surprised because for all I know, all the kids enrolled in our school came from middle to high income families. In our conversations, I even remember him telling me that his Father’s secretary assisted him in encoding the responses in his survey questionnaires. I gave him the money he needed. After some months, he fulfilled his promise of repaying his debt. Weeks after, he made the same request. He is a candidate for graduation so I again lend him the amount he needed. He promised to pay me after graduation. Months passed and I heard no words from him. I communicated with him through email. He asked for my account number and later told me he deposited the payment. I checked my bank account and discovered nothing. I told him what I found out and he never communicated with me again.

Months ago, a former student added me on Facebook. She was very eager to communicate with me. We would regularly exchange messages. I even gave her my mobile number, which I don’t allow with my current students. A week later, she surprised me with a text message. She was attempting to borrow a significant amount of money. I deposited a lesser amount to her bank account. I really wanted to help so I told her to pay me when she already has the means.

Weeks after, she was again attempting to borrow money. This time, I felt terrified. I didn’t bother to ask what was happening to her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Though one of my friends told me that I should have asked. Since it’s my money that will be used, I deserve to know. To my defense, I told my friend that I have my own quota of worries. I don’t want to burden myself more. This time, I wasn’t able to lend money. Aside from the fact that my savings account is threatened, I have a feeling that I’m opening myself to be abused. As of this day, my student never communicated with me again.

I related my story to my Mother and as expected, it was another bad decision I made.

As I was recalling these two stories, frustration transpired as my prevalent sentiment. I was frustrated for many reasons.

I was frustrated because I was convinced that our students will all have a better life after graduation. I assumed that their lives are mapped out that way. I failed to see the reality that finishing school is not guarantee of financial progress. Oh well, I should have seen myself as a living example. I have a Master’s degree but I’m troubled with all the debts I have to pay. Added to these are my fears of not being able to support my aging parents and special brother.

Another source of my frustration is the respect that I seemed to lost. When my first student decided to deceive me, I felt disrespected. It wasn’t really because of the money that he failed to return. The feeling of being disrespected emanates from his attempt of lying to me. I may not even qualify as a good teacher but at the very least, he knows that I did my job. I made all means so that they can beat the deadline for the thesis defense. I slept with their paper and did my best to have them submit a decent work.

As for my other student, my sentiments remain the same. She and her classmates know that I’m an equally struggling educator. They see me commute everyday. I take all forms of public transportation. I don’t eat in the expensive school canteen. I never owned an expensive phone. I use same pair of black shoes. She sees me lining up at Bayad Centers for the pile of bills. But why did she choose to rely to their equally struggling teacher? But I think the better question would be, why did they choose to disregard me when they have all means to reach me. I felt used and abused. I felt disrespected.

At this point, I’m no longer after the money that they promised to return. I’m actually fine extending some assistance. What rather frustrates me is that while they have all the means to tell me the truth, they chose to hide and ignore my existence.

If they care enough to respect me as a person, they should have told me that they don’t have plans of treating me one.

Weekly Photo Challenge : Escape

At this age, this is what I will forever consider as my definition of escape

escape

 

I’ve been fortunate to visit a number of my neighboring Asian countries. As I age, I hoping to add more countries in my list. In all of my trips, would you believe that I always travel alone? I have friend companions but most of them prefer to book on another date. Hence, I always ended up flying alone.

Whenever I travel, I always wanted to arrive early. I don’t mind waiting in this boring passenger’s lounge especially with the high chance of a delayed flight. I savor each moment of my temporary escape, which starts from the airport.

Liebster is sweeter the nth time around

I’ve been a lousy blogger here. A number of followers have been leaving nice comments and likes, while I can’t even manage to log in to my WordPress account. Blame it on the workplace’s internet policy that restricted my access to WordPress. 😦 Bad! Haha

Over the weekends, I realized that two fellow bloggers gave me the Liebster Award. Hooray! Actually, this is the 3rd and 4th time I received this award. It appears to be a repetitive thing but each opportunity still provides that blogging happiness. The fact that a fellow blogger remembered my immature space here is already an accomplishment. So to Irene and Muggle in Converse, thank you very much!!!

Winning the Liebster around has its accompanying challenges. One of which is to answer a series of questions. I’m answering both 11 questions posted by Irene and Muggle in Converse.

From Irene

1. Who inspires you?

My family and friends who never failed to believe that I can make things happen.

2. What experience in the past made you stronger?

I cannot brag an extraordinary experience worthy of a script for a movie or an intense drama series. Haha I can say though that my continuous battle with my quarter life crisis can qualify. The fact that I’m still alive and fighting, this proves that I’m getting stronger. Added to here my forever struggle against what the society imposes as beautiful. I blogged about it here.

3. Black or white?

White! Though when wardrobe is considered, I prefer black. I look darker and fatter in a lighter white.

4. Do you believe in love?

Of course. But then, I still continuously challenge its existence.

5. If given the chance to move, where would you like to move (country)?

I always say that I love the Philippines and I can’t imagine leaving my hometown. But since I have to answer this question I have to explain my response.

I’ve visited a number of Asian countries. Hence, my answer here is very biased to my travel adventures. I appreciate Singapore and Taiwan. Singapore demands that fast paced lifestyle. The country however still provides areas very conducive for living. I saw a lot of open spaces suited for residential life. The mass transportation is excellent and government support really benefits the residents.

Taiwan? Yes, even with the current dispute. When I went to Taiwan all I had are positive experiences and very accommodating nationals. Whenever I ask for directions and instructions, all nationals helped me with a smile. They were very kind to lost tourists. I never felt any form of rejection and discrimination. I felt safe and at home. Hopefully, the diplomatic ties between them will be resolved soon.

6. What are your thoughts on music?

It’s writing’s sibling. 🙂 It contains words arising from suppressed emotions that were crafted in one great masterpiece.

7. Do you believe in God and aliens?

Yes.

8. Why do you blog?

It fulfills my dream to write.

9. Samsung or Apple?

Apple! The two Apple products I own never failed me. I have an iPod nano for six years, still working. My recent addition is an iPad that has been with me for almost two years.

10. What book had made a great impact in your life?

The Little Prince! If only I could pass a law, I require all students to read this book.

11. In your opinion, do you think it is wise to swear off men /dating / intimacy for 750 days?

My answer here would be biased in my current situation. If I were in the shoes of Irene, I would definitely have another set of answer. In my case, men were literally and figuratively elusive on me since birth. So to prevent myself from 750 days, it’s like I slapped my own face and pretended I wasn’t hurt at all. Though I always believe that women should become “whole” before they venture to any relationship. You see, those two broken heart pendants that were joined together? I never bought that idea … literally and figuratively as well. I believe that when two hearts unite, they should be whole and full in the first place.

From Muggle in Converse

1. What book/show do you think everyone should read/watch?

Book – The Little Prince

2. Is there anything you would change about your life? If so, what?

I always hated the way I look. I wouldn’t deny that I belong to the bracket of what the society imposes as “not beautiful.” If I want to change something, that would be such perception. Before, I wished for a lighter skin, pointed nose, perfect hair. As I age though, all I wanted is the heart and wisdom to accept things as they are.

3. What is your favorite food/drink?

Coke!!!! Potato Chips, nachos, and all those junk foods!! Added to it more calories from Paella (which my Mom doesn’t know how to cook) and other seafood inspired dishes.

4. Are you religious?

I used to be very religious.

5. If you could only choose one vacation spot for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Tagaytay! I fell in love with the place the first time I saw it.

6. If you could go into space, would you?

No. I believe that I have so many places to visit in this world alone.

7. If you were reincarnated after you die, would you want to retain your memories of this life?

No. I want to say yes but I believe life would be better if I’m totally give a new slate.

8. Do you consider yourself a writer?

Yes. I claim myself to be one, even if the profession rejects me.

9. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes.

10. I love quotes. What is one of your favorites?

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

11. Do you have any comments about my blog you would like to make?

Thank you for choosing me and reading my shallow posts here.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Thank you Irene and Muggle in Converse.