I was checking the blogs of my fellow WordPress bloggers when I noticed the snow fall animation on their pages. Everyone seems to have one, except mine. I don’t intend to discover the settings responsible for the virtual snow fall, it’s fine. Although at some point, I have this feeling that my blog is uniting with my self-imposed holiday sadness.
I spent Christmas the usual way. I was at home with my family. We have a bit of an extravagant lunch at home. Ever since I started working, I gave my Nanay additional budget for a set of a great holiday meal. This year we had Kare Kare, green mangoes, shepherd’s pie, homemade tacos and meat ball spaghetti for merienda.
On Christmas eve, I went to mass with Nanay. We also had a sumptuous dinner with the entire family. Our Christmas celebration is simple but I know, this is more than enough. The fact that I still have my complete family is already a great blessing that I should be thankful for.
However, when Christmas day was about to end, I felt that surge of sadness again. I can’t figure out the forces responsible for my holiday sadness. I know, I’m in the right place. I know that my family will always be the reason for my happiness. But even though I’m so blessed to have them, why do I feel that degree of sadness. Is my age responsible for everything? Am I tired of celebrating Christmas at home? Is it because of my usual Christmas environment? Is it because I’m missing some friends? Is it because of the bills to pay for the next three years? Perhaps, I’m just focusing my attention to the things I don’t have. In effect, I’m losing the opportunity of becoming happy to the things I have.
May the light of Christmas bring you all the happiness and love in the world.
Merry Christmas dearest blog friends and readers!
If the world will end today….
Apparently, it didn’t.
I spent the day at home and treated my Mother for a mall date. At first, I was happy and excited. It’s that rare opportunity where I can give a day off to the most important persons in my life. However, some forces emerged that challenged my patience to the extreme.
First, my debit card got “debited” because of the cashier’s stupidity.. Fine, it’s mistake. Though everything was documented and reported to the bank already, I just hate the inconvenience of this mistake.
As I was buying gifts for my parents, I had that classic and recurring realization of money’s irony. Hard to earn but easy to spend. In less than an hour, my Php 1,500 is gone. Whew!
As we got home, my Father tried the trousers I bought for him. It didn’t fit. When we were purchasing the trousers, my Mother was insisting the smaller size. I kept on telling her it wouldn’t fit. My mother won. But when we got home, I won. I was ranting that I don’t want to return to the mall anymore. It’s additional cost and over the past days, all I wanted to is to stay home and finish a current freelance job.
Life, oh life!
My promise to myself: This would be the last Christmas that I will rant about being broke.
Today is our last day at work. We will have a long holiday break and everyone is definitely looking forward to it. We have the entire December to rest and spend time with the family. We will meet again on the 7th of January. The best about everything, our vacation days are paid. This happens because yours truly is working for a school.
As I’m typing this post, everyone is gone home. My few friends went ahead and bid their own goodbyes. I’m left in the office, hearing every tick of the clock and stroke of each letter in my keyboard. And suddenly, that sadness is attacking me again.
I am just so unwell again.
Need I say more?
There is nothing that can equate to the innocence and bliss of children. This makes them so delicate to deserve all the protection, care and love in the world.
The two beautiful children are my niece and nephew. I only see them once or twice a year. However, ever time I spent with them never fails to mesmerize the grown up and kid at heart in me.