Someome finally told me that I’m inspiring

Big thanks to The Appletizer!

This blog rarely receives hits, visits and followers.  Check out the counted 40 precious followers I’ve gained after three years of blogging. But as I have mentioned many times, I’m happy and contented with my almost hidden existence in the blogosphere. I’m grateful with the counted people who dared to follow my rants, complaints and dramas.

Fine, I’m rendering another litany again. I owe this post to The Appletizer. As requested, here are  seven things you don’t know about me… yet

1. I juggle between two jobs. Hopefully it would become three.  I’m your typical rank and file employee. I have an 8 am to 5 pm job. After 8 hours of sitting, I accelerate my energy and brace myself to my part time teaching stints.

2. When I was in college, I have an unclear vision of my career. Perhaps this explain why I’m still your mediocre employee. However, after graduation, it dawned me that I wanted to be a teacher. I applied for a teaching post in my alma mater, only to get my first job rejection.

3. I forgot my dream to teach and pursued a career in Research. This made me happy because I was given the job that entails my first love, writing.

4. I finished my MBA years ago and this gave me the license to teach. Ever since I started teaching, I never stopped. I was fortunately given continuous teaching assignments.

5. I always worry about aging alone. This is the main reason why I wanted to earn and save more than enough for myself.

6. My international research presentation in Taiwan is so far my greatest yet most silent achievement in life. Only a few people in my family understand and know about it.

7. Every comment and new follower in this blog really makes me happy.
So there you go! Thank you The Appletizer!



An Open Letter to Bank B

Dear Bank B,

I have always been a firm believer of the fact that your institution serves as the market leader of the industry. I have high respect and trust in your banking services because I met a few of your great and hardworking employees.  After so many years and because I had the need to open an account in one of your branches, I was looking forward on developing that  great banking experience. In fact, the idea of transferring my savings account to your bank came in my thoughts. I was considering it for the longest time. However, with the way things turned out a few weeks ago, I decided to stick with the bank that has been with me ever since I was 9 years old.

I had the need to open two accounts in your institution. The first was the savings account, which I detailed the story in my previous post. The second was a credit card which I intend to use as a replacement for an existing but useless credit line.

My new credit card was delivered two weeks ago. Unfortunately, I headed out to one of your branches when your courier came. This reminds me that if only the branch that catered me had more tellers, I would have reached home earlier. Hence, the courier had personally handed me my new credit card.

The courier handed my mother an authorization letter for me to fill out. The courier even promised that he would return the next day to collect the form and finally deliver my credit card. I trusted your courier’s words and I was really expecting for my card the next day. Unfortunately, two weeks have passed and Mr. Courier never returned. Phew!

Two weeks already entailed a significant waiting period. I decided to make a move. I phoned 89-100 to report my concern. I wanted to finally put a closure to all these disappointments. Unfortunately again and again and again, your phone banking line for credit card inquiries is working so well to the extent that  I was always placed on hold of the nine phone attempts I made. Way to go Bank B!

As much as I don’t want to contradict and complain to my friends, who are great employees of your institution, the kind of services I have been receiving from your end is becoming a pile of major disappointments.

Series of Unfortunate Events? Part II

And the saga continues here 🙂

After the minor accident and the long-awaited check up with the Orthodontist, I reached my major destination. I’m finally inside  Bank B. My main concern is simply to open a savings account. But for some reason, a certain level of excitement was thriving in me. I was very eager and excited to become one of Bank B’s millions of clients.

When I reached the premises of Bank B, I was overwhelmed with the number of clients waiting to be served. A few steps led me to the area for the new accounts. This later gave me my first disappointment for Bank B. 

There was no clear instruction to guide new clients.  The only thing clear to me was the requirements posted on the entrance of the teller’s cubicle. I was clueless of whom to approach and what should I do to be recognized as a prospective client. But I never gave up. I asked a fellow client of where should I line up for the new accounts. The old lady courteously instructed me to sign my name on the logbook provided near the entrance of the teller’s cubicle. As I was about to write my name, I was surprised with the number of written names. The two pages represent all the clients waiting to be served.

As much as I wanted to leave Bank B, I have no choice. I have the need to strictly open an account with them. I joined the agony of my fellow clients. Second score of disappointment was recorded!

Fortunately, I found a comfortable seat amidst the numerous clients. To keep me occupied and divert my attention to other positive things, I decided to take out my current read. However, my mind is starting to pile all the disappointments I had for the day. I looked around the premises of the bank and it was only during this time when I found the reason to the bulk of unserved clients. There was only one teller attending to the opening of new accounts. The idea that I had no choice prevailed on me. I chose to hold on to my dwindling patience.

After almost an hour, I spotted another teller directed to the new accounts section. I thought that her presence will hasten the turnover of clients. To my surprise, the other teller left his workstation. He headed out for the much-needed break he has been ranting. Third disappointment was recorded!

Though to be fair, I don’t blame the teller who has been demanding his much-needed break. The thing that rather frustrates me is the inability of Bank B to handle the bulk of unserved clients.

After more than an hour, my name was finally called. The moment of  heading to the client’s seat made me happy only until a fellow client informed me that she was called first. Phew! Fine…. Since I already left my seat, another waiting client occupied  it. I was left awkwardly standing and waiting… I felt stupid.

I don’t know if it was my stupid mistake. I can’t however decipher why one teller have to call  three consecutive names, if she can attend to only one client. The system really confused and made me feel stupid. Fourth disappointment was recorded!

The only consolation I received from Bank B was the decent customer service skills rendered by the teller. She wasn’t the grouchy or your expressionless service provider.

After almost 2 hours of waiting and disappointments, I’m finally an official client of Bank B…

Do I regret my decision? I’d like to give Bank B another chance. Hopefully, my next banking transactions will manifest a great improvement. Though honestly, even though Bank B will burden me with another set of disappointments, I DON’T HAVE A CHOICE. I have to endure their disappointing services for the benefit of my struggling work life.

Series of Unfortunate Events?

I decided to take another mid-week leave today. Believe it or not, the only reason why I took this day off is because I need to open an account to this bank. Unfortunately, I have to comply with this specific bank.

I have to maximize my day so I squeezed in the need to visit my dentist. I must admit that I’ve been reluctant of taking my monthly consultations because that would mean funds to shed off my account. Anyway, I don’t have a choice because my ortho. treatment is still on-going.

On the way to my dentist, I experienced a minor accident…. I was half-way crossing the street when a jeepney decided to overtake another jeepney. I was surprised of the sudden approach of the overtaking jeepney so I decided to back off  crossing the street. I made around two to three steps backward and to my surprise, I was hit by a huge bicycle and loads of goodies on its side cart. The bicycle hit me from my blind side.

In God’s grace, nothing serious happened to me. I was still standing and I was able to walk straight. Though minutes after the accident, I felt a slight pain in my smallest toe and my lower right leg. Hopefully, it will only be a pain that will soon go away. Hopefully, this will not mutate to a long term injury….

I proceed with my appointment with my dentist and as expected, I need to shell out another Php 5,000 again. Phew! But since my dentist never mentioned anything yet, I decided to leave things over.  I’ll handle problems when they came in and not when they are just about to come.

After my dental check up, I finally went to the main reason why I took a leave. I went to this banking institution that claims to be the lead in the Philippines.

I never made any transaction with Bank B because I always preferred the extended banking hours offered by Bank BD. Moreover, I have been a loyal client of Bank BD since I was 9 years old. Believe it or not, I maintained and upgraded the same bank account for more than 20 years.

The positive reputation of Bank B has been thriving in me ever since I started working. When I took my graduate studies, I have a number of classmates who are employees of Bank B. From their stories, I was convinced that Bank B is indeed a reputable and reliable institution. A few months ago, I also attended a seminar that shared the best practices of Bank B. I was impressed with the Customer Service advocacy of the company. So after so much analysis and since I had the need to open an account to Bank B, I made the decision. I should be one of their million clients and believers…

Unfortunately, Bank B failed me. They gave me nothing more than disappointments on our first meeting..
To be continued…

For JC

I don’t know much about JC and her life. She was simply introduced to me as one of the working scholars in our college. She was assigned to the department where I used to work. I never noticed anything peculiar with JC. For me, she was just a typical working student. I did however recognize her hardwork and perseverance in her studies. She would report for work ahead of time. She would squeeze in reviewing her notes while on duty during those deadly examination weeks. My colleague also told me that she is one of the few reliable assistants they ever had. She can accurately carry out tasks with minimum supervision.

JC was a mere student and a working scholar in my eyes. Everything changed when I discovered what happened last week.

She didn’t report for work last Monday. Whenever she can’t report for work, JC makes it a point to inform my colleague and her fellow working scholar, PJ. Monday ended and they never heard a word from JC.

Being the concerned friend, PJ phoned JC’s home and to her surprise, the mother told her that JC left home in uniform for school. This stirred up all those worries in my colleague’s office.

PJ made the initiative to visit JC in their house. We were hoping that PJ would finally relay the good news. PJ’s initiative unfortunately brought out more unanswered questions, confusions and worries.

JC shun away herself from everyone. According to her mother, JC imprisoned herself in her room. When I heard the news about JC’s condition, I had my own share of sorrow and pity for her. As much as I wanted to help her, I know I can’t.

In one of our lunches, I and my colleague are convinced that there is something deeper that forced JC to distance herself to everyone. It wasn’t simply a failed examination that changed her. We wanted to help her but the problem is, even us are helpless and clueless about her condition.

In the course of our discussion, we were able to unearth a painful reality in the Philippine setting. My colleague, being in the field of Psychology, even admitted that this field of study is still in the infancy stage in our country. The Philippines is still far from understanding and accepting that psychological related illnesses do not necessarily mean having the need to be imprisoned in a mental ward. Most people still perceive that when someone seeks psychiatric or psychological help, that person serves as a threat to everyone. Truth is, I and my colleague admire people who voluntarily submitted themselves to professional help. They form the bravest people on earth. They personally surrendered their problems and accepted the fact that they need help.

Oftentimes, there are people who perceive psychological conditions like an infectious disease. Little do they know, they rather serve as nails that seal the coffin to this often neglected and least discussed condition.

As much as my colleague wanted to be the lead in widening and deepening everyone’s understanding of the dynamics of her chosen field of discipline, her efforts will never be enough. JC is unfortunately one of the casualties of this frustrating reality.

We may not be able to elevate the landscape of this critical field of discipline. However, our only prayer now is for JC to be well again.

Dear God,

Please don’t make JC as another proof that this field of study remains as a major weakness in our country. Please bring back the JC that I used to know. If not, please let this storm pass and bring out a better JC in our lives.


As of today, I learned from my colleague that JC reported back to school. Thank you Lord for the answered prayer.

Why I hate team building activities

(My real identity is never revealed in this blog. If you happen to discover this page from my Facebook, Twitter or Yahoo Messenger account, it means that you are one of the few who owns my trust)

Working out-of-town is something I really look forward. This rarely happens to me because I work for a school. Much of our tasks are confined within the walls of our office.

I always envied my friends who have their own team building activities. They are fled to a place away from the city to enjoy the fun physical games with their colleagues. All I can see are traces of happiness in their pictures. In our case, the main off-from-work activity we have is a rather discreet spiritual retreat.

When this significant project was assigned by the President to my Boss, my dream of experiencing a team building activity happened. My Boss spearheaded the formation of committees and members for this major project. In order to establish favorable working relationships, my Boss organized this team building activity. It was held in one of my favorite places in the South. I was the happiest. I was looking forward on experiencing the beauty of the place and later blogging all those memorable experiences.

My simple dream vanished as it was replaced by an unfortunate event I will never forget.

One of the tasks we were required to accomplish was to build a human pyramid. We were around 10 in the group, comprised mostly of female members. Our group decided to form a three level human pyramid. The task was easier for the males because they are expected to serve as the pyramid’s base. They have to carry the burden of everyone who will join the pyramid. As for us girls, it was chaotic. No one of course wanted to stay on the top of the pyramid. Whether we like it or not, we did the task and I agreed to be in the second layer of the pyramid. Everything went fine until our last member stepped on my back and balanced her way.

I believe my colleague was able to stood and balance for a while. However, seconds after trying to prolong the pyramid, I was the first member who lost balance. I ended up falling on the ground. In effect, my colleague went rattled and also fell on the ground. I ended up hurting my back but I never had the heart to complain. Why? My colleague unfortunately suffered the worst consequence.

My colleague fell with the wrong footing and position. She ended up with a foot sprain that changed her life forever. Everyone thought it was a typical sprain that will eventually heal weeks after. Unfortunately, the sprain turned to a serious injury. I will not anymore detail her medical condition, but she was forced to make a lot of adjustments in her life after the accident.

She have to walk with crutches because her foot was compressed and bandaged. She almost consumed all of her vacation leave credits to accommodate her check ups and treatment. Worst is that I learned that she needed to undergo a series of therapies.

Seeing her everyday in that condition made me felt more and more guilty. I felt that everything was my fault.

When we returned to Manila, I approached her and said I was so sorry. She smiled and told me that it wasn’t my fault. It was an accident. No one wanted it.

I should felt relieved after hearing her words. But deep inside, I was still feeling guilty. I felt that everything was my fault.

No matter what I do, I can’t convince myself that I’m not liable over the incident.

When I confided my feelings to one of my colleagues, I was expecting some comfort from her side. Unfortunately, I received the opposite. I felt more blame on me. As I was just starting the conversation she told me “hindi ka naman niya sinisisi” (she is not blaming you for the accident) Wow, I badly needed that. I wasn’t even uttering any words yet. Your mouth obviously speaks what your mind is trying to hide. You just insinuated and confirmed that you are one of those people who thinks that I’m the one to blame for everything.

The next days at work were so difficult especially when my unfortunate colleague seemed to be the talk of the town. Come with her injury is the story of the person who caused her agony.

No one confronted me of the incident. However, I failed to realize that silence doesn’t automatically meant absence. Little do I know, I was perceived by the many as the antagonist of the real life story. It was my fault. I was the one to be blamed. I was able to confirm this when I attended an institutional gathering.

While everyone in the group was asking of my injured colleague’s recovery, someone blurted “ikaw kasi eh” “ikaw may kasalanan” It was confirmed. My colleague’s unfortunate suffering was seen by everyone as my fault. Come to think of it, the colleague who rendered the rude comment was not part of the team building activity. He wasn’t there when it happened. How was he able to make such comment? Someone who was part of the team building activity related to him the accident and surely, I was introduced as the antagonist.

My injured colleague happened to be one of my Facebook contacts. Though she rarely does it, she provides everyone updates of her injury. I never told anyone that seeing updates of her condition made me feel worst. There was a time when I don’t anymore want to logged in my account because that would mean feeding my restless self more guilt. Though of course I don’t blame my injured colleague for providing updates. It was her right and I guess her friends are expecting it as well.

If only I can tell everyone that I never wanted everything to happen. If only I can instill to the minds of every gossiper and rude commenter of the torture of guilt I have to endure. If only my friends realized that I also needed them. If only everyone knew that I was equally sad and frustrated….

As of date, I would like to believe that my injured colleague is nearing to her full recovery. I was gradually coping with the emotional burden of guilt as I see her getting back to shape. I thought we can finally close the story. The thing is, everything just exists in my thoughts… When the official newsletter of the school was released, I saw an article that documented our team building activity turned personal nightmare. Much to my surprise, the article showcased the picture of our group’s failed human pyramid. Perfect ruin! While I was trying to convince myself that everything will soon be forgotten, an immortal documentation will always be there to remind everyone of the accident that is loudly blamed on me in silence.

I used to dream of experiencing our own happy and memorable team building activity. Ask me now? I’d rather succumb to a month long and boring spiritual retreat.

Day 30 – Another Mission Accomplished

Finally!!! The challenge is over and I can have my own blogging break 🙂 My second attempt to the 30 day blog challenge is mission accomplished. However, I must admit that I have a number of regrets of not taking this seriously. I made a number of lousy posts. I wrote mostly about negativities and I kept emphasizing of my self-perceived pathetic life. My spirits are down and I know that I have no one to blame but myself.  My number one dilemma has been the bills that have piled up. I finally faced this problem and hopefully, my plans will push through. Before I turn 30, my wish is that I’m finally debt free. If not, I should already be halfway settled with all my bills.

When I did the 30 day blog challenge here and in my other blog, I found myself in the midst of another challenge. Two of the firsts in my life; stepping to another country and my dream international research presentation were both successfully documented here. I must admit though that I was expecting another miracle and blessing as I undertake the challenge. I was secretly wishing for another opportunity that would perk up my sad and lazy self. But this time, nothing arrived. I was disappointed but I believe God wanted something else for me. With or without a blessing, He wanted me to learn to stand up for myself now.

Incidentally, as I write this post I took a leave from work. I never planned this, I swear! The last day of the challenge landed on my much needed leave from work. The weird thing is I took a leave from work even though I don’t have errands to attend. I just wanted a break. I just wanted to wake up without the pressure of snoozing my alarm clock. I have my weekends but for some reason, I felt they are not enough.

Before I chronicle another rant again, allow me to recall some of the few good and bad things.. Hopefully the good news can at least cover up for my negativities

Bad news: Two of my previous freelance clients still left me hanging in the tree of uncertainty

Good news:  I still have two pending freelance works which has really been testing my strength.

Bad news: I’m in debt…

Good news: I won a pair of shades, which I vowed to never purchase. Soon, I will be receiving additional allowance from my hardworked stint as a part time educator

Bad news:  I’ve been accumulating unread books in my room. I felt disappointed because  I’m not like this before. I don’t do book shopping unless I have nothing to read.

Good news: I gave away some of them to some friends, who can become better owners.

Bad news:  I wrote how I felt when some students chose to complain to my direct supervisor, while they all have the means to communicate with me.

Good news: I think the issue was already settled. I explained my side during one of our classes. We also moved on to the actual contents of the course. We’re done with the review lectures

Bad news: I allowed myself to enter another story of false hopes.

Good news: I still have proof have my heart still beats. I’m normal and a perfectly imperfect human.

Bad news: I had an encounter with a colleague and almost their entire department.

Good news: I was given the opportunity to stand up for myself. I have proven to some people that I am silently deadly in the inside.  (with one of my eye brows  raised)

Bad news: I remained as the silent and neglected rank and file employee.

Good news: I don’t have positions and achievements to boast off. But I have priceless and hard earned respect and honesty in my hands.

There you go, I would like to believe that I didn’t make another lousy and lazy post again.

Before I finally end this post, allow me to share a photo I took as soon as I  woke up this morning

Bad news: I still have my noisy neighbor

Good news: The beautiful sky and Instagram can make our humble place look like a piece of heaven on earth.

There’s still sunshine. There’s always another day.