Dear Someone

Warning: another rant and bitter post

Dear Someone,

Allow me to conceal your identity by calling you “colleague.” I don’t know if you have something against my existence. I tried my best recalling instances that perhaps caused a rub between us. Our offices were never intertwined and become collaborated to a certain task. Hence, I can never think of a situation that have sparked a silent and cold war between us.

However, you seem to take some unexplained revenge on me through Facebook. First and foremost, I’m not a celebrity or an actress that demands for attention. So don’t bother to give me those opportunities. Sorry but I’d like to be more frank this time. Please stop taking those stolen shots of my huge face, uploading them in Facebook, tagging me and receiving those thousands of hits. The next morning, I would suddenly encounter unexplained smirks, murmurs, giggles and teases from some colleagues as I am approaching their way. @$&/!

There are a hundred more beautiful faces at the workplace who are willing to have their pictures taken. Please divert your attention to them. They badly needed you.

You see, my self confidence has become a scarce resource these days. If it is really silent revenge that you want, then I guess you are succeeding. Seeing stolen pictures of myself with my mouth wide open, closed eyes and crooked face, what more could I ask for?

Please, leave me some peace.

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I made a decision

I decided to stop my drama over my freelance clients here. I sought some advices from a few friends and so far, I received confusing and contradicting suggestions. ūüėÄ One friend told me to confront and personally deal with the clients. Another friend was supportive of my decision to just leave a discreet message to them through email or Facebook.¬† But at the end of the day however, no matter what approach I chose to do, I will appear as the antagonist who demands for her humble professional fee. This is the last thing I wanted to do in my entire life. I don’t want to play the role of the antagonist and begging someone to pay his debt. This is also the main reason why I never accepted jobs in call centers and collection groups. It’s not that I underestimate or belittle the job. My personality is not just fitted to become demanding and imposing.

With this experience, I have made some ironic and painful realizations about life too. You see, being righteous has its own consequences too. While I did my job to the best of my ability, destiny gave me a hard time to be repaid. Oh life!

I will be out of town for some days. Hopefully when I return to Manila, my decision to personally email my “catch me if you can” clients” will not be another regretful mistake.

Too much cheese leads to this disease

My friends will surely disown me after reading this post.  But right now, the hopeless romantic in me is dying in the heaven of cheesiness.  The one to blame for my hormonal imbalance  is the shallow drama series, My Princess.

And LET ME EMPHASIZE, I’m referring to the Korean¬†series that stars my¬†ultimate Asian girl crush, ¬†Kim Tae Hee.

Some might have mistaken my addiction to the local soap opera filmed in Bhutan. Oh please, I’m way too old for that.

The series was aired in a local channel last year but I managed to watch I think one or two short episodes. Either the air time of the series was in the afternoon or before the late night news, I can’t remember. I think I saw the teaser once¬†and my attention was caught because of Kim Tae Hee. Back then, my mind was perhaps too preoccupied to accommodate another addiction. When a blog¬†friend shared how her own hopeless romantic sentiments sparked up after watching My Princess, it felt contagious so here I am getting infected and plagued by my own cheesiness.

As much as I wanted to purchase a DVD compilation, my DVD player at home finally laid to ¬†rest and my illegal source of drama series was relocated somewhere out there.¬† ūüėÄ Last resort,¬†I patiently watched the equally illegal fragmented clips in the ever deep archive of You Tube.

Before I started my current freelance works, a fast internet connection, my struggling netbook and You Tube became my regular weeknights to dawn companions. I would be up until 2 am patiently searching for the episodes in clips.

And among the many episodes I patiently waited to load, this one triggered my hopeless romantic and cheesiness hormones.

Dear God,

If you will give me my own¬†Mr. P.,¬† I can let go of those clients who both¬†broke my heart and pocket.¬†Do we have a deal? ūüėÄ

Diane

Okay friends,¬†I’m ready.¬†Disown me¬†until¬†the cheesiness in my blood subsides.

UPDATE: My phone beeped and here’s the message:

“Friendship, tulog lang yan. Lilipas din yan.”

Writing warming up!

Freelance works have always been a part of my long prayers. Since I only report¬†to¬†work from¬†Mondays to Fridays, I know my lazy¬†self can still accommodate¬†jobs that can¬†augment my¬†very slim and shy bank account. ūüėÄ

My “thick faced” clients caused me some¬†verbal diarrhea in my previous post. Unfortunately, their silence¬†is continuously feeding my system agitations, stress¬†that will¬†soon¬†mutate to¬†cancer cells. If by chance they will pay me, I know the compensation is not even enough to render one chemotherapy session. Oh dear God, please don’t allow.

I won’t rant anymore about¬†them.¬†When I started writing this post, my original intention was to share a current freelance work that has been placing me to a challenge.¬† The research work I’m venturing thrives outside my comfort zone. Honestly, I had tons of¬† reluctance¬†before accepting the job.¬†But the the pending yet¬†unfiled estafa case ūüėÄ and the idea that opportunities only knock once convinced me to render¬†my sweetest yes.¬†¬†

It was all happiness when two works came in a row. Writing, learning and money! Money! Money! It felt like heaven when I was able to seal the deal. However, the happiness only settled for a while. When I started receiving only two hours of sleep, bloated eyes, pimples, splatter of unlimited facial oiliness, stress eating and weight gain, what the hell am I doing with myself?

I know I don’t have the right to complain because I’m paid or should I say, I will hopefully be paid. Oh please, not another estafa case again. I’m actually happy and thankful deep inside. At the end of the day, I know the reason why they chose me is because they believe in my capability. The idea that people see me as someone who can save them from the hell of writing a paper already flatters me.¬†¬†

I’m writing this post within office hours and I know! I’m guilty of stealing hours and resources from my full time job.¬†To my defense, my job entails me to write anything that the boss says.¬†¬†Let’s just say that this is part of my daily writing exercise. I need to warm up¬† to¬†get things¬†going and I’m using this blog as my excerise machine. ūüėÄ

Now that I have perked up¬†my writing senses, I should start the real thing. I’d better be¬†going. Wait, my watch says 11:51 am. Oh well,¬†I’ll be off for¬†lunch in a while. ūüėÄ See you later real work!