The Crayola Series: Case Closed

Remember my series of rants in the “Crayola Series“? God must have heard me because this painful chapter of my life is over. I will not further detail how this story had ended. Let’s reserve that on a future post.

For now, I would like to apologize to all the people who have been  hurt or affected by my immature rants. My family, few friends and superiors who consoled and supported me all this time, I am likewise extending my deepest grattitude.

Actually, this post is not an end. It’s only a conclusion of my Crayola series. The next days will mark the start of another challenging chapter… a chapter that I have to make to prove that I can also make things happen.

Less than a month to go for that one big endeavor. Hopefully it will be an achievement.

Just another weight loss drama

In my struggle to shed off the whooping lbs I have gained in a year, I decided to regularly jog over the weekends. From 120 to a shameful 140 lbs at a height of 5’3″. Damn, I have to slap these figures on my face everyday.

I would jog either in the morning or evening. When I have the courage to break my long hours of sleep every weekends, I jog at around 6 to 8 in the morning. When I can’t drag my lazy ass from bed, I have to force myself to jog in the evening. If an athlete is reading this, I will surely receive a huge spank on my face. You call that one hour of jogging as a sacrifice? Perhaps, we can exchange shoes until before Christmas? That would make me finally return to my extra small blouses and pants. 

I am now painfully learning what other people kept saying about weight gain. Unlike money, weight is easier to gain than lose. Once it’s in your body, you have to endure countless sacrifices to lose it.

I started jogging a month ago and to my biggest disappointment, I gained a heartbreaking 2 lbs. I used to battle 138 lbs and now I am screaming 140 lbs. God, what happened? Begging and kneeling before you, please stop this vicious spell in my life.

I have related this story to some of my friends and this is what they all said, “Dude, those 2 lbs might be the muscles you have gained.” Muscles? Another thing I wouldn’t want to gain after the fats and lbs. I don’t have plans to look like a male athlete. I know my face doesn’t count as a decent member of the female populace. But for heaven’s sake, I don’t want to gain male hormones and features! Muscles are never the welcome additions to my life. Why can’t God transfer it to the male populace instead?

To perhaps console my dwindling self-esteem, a friend gave me a lecture on excercise, weight gain and muscles. My friend told me that I am still in the early stages of my efforts to lose weight. Normally, people who engage in regular exercise develop muscles. After some time, prolonged and regular excercise will lead to weight loss. Without further Google research, I believed my friend. Perhaps I am still in the stage, where my body is adjusting and coping with my forced routinary weekend jogging. This could also explain why my legs feel like a truck of  logs from Monday to Tuesday.

I’m learning a lot from my efforts to shed off that heavy monster that entered my body. In God’s time, I hope I will gain or I mean lose something from this hard sacrifice that I have  to live every weekend.

Cherishing my Memories: The Lone Family Picture

I am making this post for my blog friend, Vivian, who happens to be one of my counted but valued followers in my other blog.

I said in my previous post that I am not made to write those emotional and heart warming pieces. Most of the time, I just end up making a forced dramatic post.  So please, pardon the cheesy drama coming.

My Family

This is our lone family picture. You can see my Nanay (mother), Kuya (brother), me and my Dad. Believe it or not, this is our only family picture. I can’t even recall the exact date when this photo was taken. If I would estimate, I think this was taken when I was around four years old.

I can give you plenty of excuses why we have one family picture in our entire lifetime. One lame excuse is because our family never owned a camera. We do not have that much in life and most of the time, my family’s resources are devoted for my studies. My parents invested so much on me because I am the only one who is capable to study. If you have read my previous post, you know the reason. My brother is a special kid. My parents have done everything to save him. It’s hurting, but we know God has his own reasons for everything.

On the less serious side, the reason why we only have one family picture is because my Dad is the biggest killed joy person in the world. 😀 I have a father who is so serious and unaffectionate. But as I grow up, I have learned to appreciate and love the unique person in him.

What I shared here is a plain family picture. Nothing fancy and unique for other people. But for me, this picture would remain as a signficant part of myself. This picture will always remind me of my humble beginnings. My family made me the person I am today. Everytime I look at this picture I see my Nanay, my first teacher, bestfriend and refuge, my Daddy who gave me the best parenting approach and worked hard to give me the best life and my special Kuya, who remains to be my inspiration and reminds me the real meaning of love.

Did you just become lactose intolerant because of so much cheesyness? Oh well, I have warned you. 😉

An encounter with a rude scammer

When issues are starting to pile and mess up, some forces emerge to get me totally pissed off. Yes, this is another bad story at the workplace. 😀

I just received a call from a lady who introduced herself as PRECIOUS GONZALES. She informed me that I am entitled for a free stay at any Crown Regency Hotel in the Philippines. I can claim my certificates for free stay after answering a series of questions. Ah, as expected, disguised freebies in exchange for customer information. These are marketing strategies implemented by companies in order to establish a customer data bank. Later on these information can be used for Data Mining and Market Research.

If my personal information will be exclusively used for Market Research, it would be fine. However, we can’t underestimate the presence of identity theft. In effect, I am very reluctant in providing information from unexpected calls from companies I have never transact with.

I didn’t respond to the questions posted by Precious. I instead asked for the person who referred me to their company. Apparently, this Precious Gonzales cannot provide an answer. She said that it was impossible to track the names of the person who submitted my name. Sorry, but I don’t believe that alibi.

I doubted the real objective of the call so I courteously denied answering Precious’ questions. I asked for her number instead and told her that I will return a call in case I become interested to her offer. That Precious Gonzales gave me this number

(632) 5057146

I verified Crown Regency’s office numbers through their websites and true enough… The call is not connected from the company. Was I scammed? Was I almost a subject of identity theft? Or was the call only provided by a secondary marketing company? If such was the case, then this Precious Gonzales should not introduce herself as someone from Crown Regency Hotel.

And before I forget, did i mention that this Precious Gonzales said something that pissed me off. Before she ended our conversation, I heard her saying “libre na nga ang arte pa.” (I’m already giving you a freebie yet you are still so choosy.)

You called me choosy? Well, you just gave me a good reason to report you and your alleged company to the management of Crown Regency.

Tell me how?

I’ve been jogging every weekend for almost a month. And so far what I benefited are aching legs and thighs. Did I mention that in the span of a month, I further gained 2 lbs. From 138, I am now exactly 140 lbs and I hope no more further counting. Please God, stop this vicious thing.

After my morning jog, I went to the mall to purchase a nice discounted top. I tried size medium and to my dismay, it didn’t fit. Perhaps the blouse was really too small. Perhaps the fabric was too stiff.  But as I took off the blouse I was awakened by a depressing reality. I’m used to seeing my bulgy belly, but my back was a big surprise. I’m starting to develop those nasty flabs on my back.

Exercise, jogging in particular may not work for me. Next option? Diet! Oh boy, that’s the last thing I don’t want to do. I love food. I love Coke and cakes. I never imagined giving them up. Life would be oh so sad without sugar and cholesterol.

And to prove to everyone how much I ballooned in a span of two years, here’s the living evidence

 

(photo deleted )

Cringe!!!!

For the most special person in my life

Every time I express my love to my family through a blog post, I feel that I am just making a cheesy, dramatic and exaggerated post My writing style is not inclined to produce those heart warming and tearful posts. I will never be a great storyteller or an inspirational writer.  The fact that I am not the most thoughtful and affectionate person in the world could perhaps explain. The most that I can do is as always, try.

This day is so special to my parents because it marks the 32nd birthday of my special brother. Not everyone knows that I have a special brother. Even some of my friends and colleagues are not aware of my brother’s existence. I admit though that I avoid to talk about him. Not because I am selfish or ashamed of him. People just can’t understand that whenever I talk or think about him, my heart starts to silently weep. That’s how special is my brother to me and my family.

My brother is my only sibling. He was born healthy. Unfortunately, he was stricken with Meningitis when we was around 6 months old. The disease affected his nervous system making him paralyzed all his life. He lives the life like that of a baby. He can’t walk. He needs to be fed and the saddest part, he can’t communicate. He can’t express his feelings. He can’t say what pains and makes him happy. We were all dependent on watching him cry and occasionally smile. And for me, that is the most painful part of reality that we have to endure.

The doctor told my parents that my brother will surely went ahead of them.  He has a shorter life expectancy. Two years ago, my parents brought him to our family doctor and she was surprised to see my brother. The doctor said she didn’t expect my brother to live for 30 years. I know we will be facing this harsh reality of life but when God decides to take my brother, the person that would be most affected is my mother. She took care of my brother all throughout her life. They were together every single day for 32 years.

It’s my brother’s birthday and instead of talking about sad things, I should be happy and thankful because we have him. But as I have said, whenever I talk about him, my heart just is overwhelmed with worries and sadness.

If only my brother can communicate with me, there are countless things I’d like to tell him. In my 27 years of existence, all I have are suppressed words of love and gratitude. It really pains and frustrates me whenever I think about my unsaid sentiments. I hope God has a way to relate my message to my brother.

I used to be a loner back in my Elementary days. I have rare friends and during those times, I’ve always wished that I have you as my best friend. What I failed to realize was that God gave me more than a brother. Having you in our lives was more than enough reason to be thankful than to become self pitiful.

Nanay would always tell me that all of Daddy’s earnings are devoted to me.  They are investing and relying much on me. Whenever I receive failing marks, Nanay would always tell me that I am so fortunate. If you were also studying, I will surely lose the opportunity of going to an expensive school.

When I started working and rebeled with my bad spending habits, Nanay would always remind me about you. Nanay would tell me to save because in the future, I am the only person to be depended in the future. Soon enough, I will be the bread winner.

But even though I am pressured with a lot of responsibilities to the family, I never felt any form of hatred against you. I never saw you as an obligation to fulfill.

You never uttered any word all throughout your life, but you were able to taught me the greatest thing about life, to love. You made me understand the real meaning of love. You made me see the beauty of love. You made me feel the power of love. You made me realize that pains and sacrifices are nothing once you knew how to really love.

I dreamt about you months ago. The dream looks so real and it bothered me for days. You told me two powerful words, “thank you.” You never talked but that dream was powerful enough to make me feel those words. It made me cry for days. A friend told me that perhaps that was your way of telling me that you appreciate all my efforts for the family.

If you could hear me, I want you to know how much I am thankful for coming to our lives. I love you and I will never get tired working for you, Nanay and Daddy. The three of you will always be the reason why I live and work  every single day.

Happy Birthday.