Does history really repeat itself?
Last Friday was not a good one. The letter of regret accidentally landed on my hands and that was it. Everything was all about tears, sadness, frustration and sprouts of hatred. In my attempt to forget, I started my long planned weight loss weekend activity. I finally started jogging.
I started the week with the theme, moving on but not letting go. I was determined to exhaust all means to fulfill that dream.
In a span of three days, I arranged the requirements for my second attempt to seek for funding opportunity. I was successful in beating my Friday deadline. Everything was falling in the right place. I was seeing another shed of light.
I submitted my application to a government agency that claims to provide funding opportunities for paper presentations. As I handed out my application I was given the most encouraging response
“Wala na kaming budget. ” (Our office no longer have budget for your application.)
If she stopped talking then everything should have went out fine. I understand the fact that government funds are also scarce. But she left me with this painful statement
“Bakit kasi ngayon ka lang nag-apply.” (Why are you submitting your application only now?)
In short, she is blaming me for submitting my application at this latter part of the year. She further said that during the last months of the year, their budget allocation becomes exhausted.
Heck. How come your office don’t mention that in the program brochure? If that is always the case in your office, then might as well state that in the application policy and procedure. If it’s already the BER months, don’t bother to apply.
Although I appreciate her brutal honesty, she wasn’t of any help to my endeavor.
Hey Madam, I got one message for you. WATCH YOUR WORDS. I wouldn’t bother to visit your office and apply for funding, if I can support myself. I am here because I need help. A person who needs help does not need another dose of discouragement.
I understand the fact that the government’s budget is limited. But don’t blame me if I submitted my application this latter part of the year. It was never stated in the program brochure and the memorandum order in the first place. I hope you realize that every person who submits his paper in your office is already facing his own battle.