I now hate weight

I used to get irritated over skinny and weight conscious people. I have friends and colleagues who went to the extent of checking the Nutrition Facts label of the items they are about to buy. If the item exceeds their calorie limit, they deprive themselves and resort to bland oatmeal biscuits. I also get annoyed by people who regularly weigh themselves and would react much over a line of weight gain.

I started at 110 lbs after college. I would even fit in to an extra small  blouse. I was contented with my 28 inches waist line and a feet of size seven.  At that time, I never felt fat nor thin. I was fine with my shape. When I started Graduate School and learn to eat in different restaurants during Saturdays, I gained unhealthy fats. I don’t remember my weight but I know I gained some because a lot of people were noticing it and my few clothes are shrinking. I wasn’t after all affected by such weight gain. I didn’t care whenever people kept telling me that I am fat.

After some time, I became so unhealthy. I started getting UTI and developed Hypotension. Abrupt changes at work led me to experience the unhealthy weight loss. I haven’t noticed the change in my body. I know I was sick but I barely felt that I was losing weight. It was only my former boss who told me that my uniform is getting so loose over time.

When I finished Graduate School, my worries and workload lessened.  My expenses declined and I have a little extra money to indulge on shopping and trying out different restaurants. It was also at this point when I started the exhausting job of teaching.

The additional money and my evening teaching schedule unfortunately brought me to my record breaking weight, 138 lbs and counting…. Damn it! How did I gain those extra lbs in a span of a year? The culprit was my everyday eating practice.

I usually take heavy merienda whenever I have evening classes. After hours of standing and exhausting my voice, I feel so tired with an empty  stomach. So before I end the day, I drop by Taco Bell or Mc Donald’s for dinner. I usually order a rice bowl, burger, fries paired with large soda.  This practice became my everyday itinerary. After the heavy fastfood meal, I travel home,  hit the bed and sleep.  That was how I end the day over the past months.

I never realized the impact of such unhealthy habit.  Refueling myself with food followed by a deep sleep was the culprit. I CAN FEEL MY WEIGHT GAIN. My knees are starting to ache, my size at my favorite shops rose from extra small to medium and a lot of people are rendering the same comment. Tumaba ka! Errrrr! For the first time in my life, I felt agitated and conscious over my big tummy.

I wanted to shed off those fats the healthy way. I don’t want to receive illnesses in exchange for weight loss. No way anymore! My problem now is how?

My eating habits and capacity changed. Unfortunately, I am not brave and disciplined enough to leave such practice.  I don’t have self-control. I don’t have the resistance to eat.

I want to exercise. Problem is when? I am exhausted during the weekdays. During weekends, I consume too much hours for sleeping. I wake up late and sleep a lot in the afternoon.

The words, diet and exercise, were not part of my vocabulary. Today, I need to understand and learn to use these words. But how? I think the more appropriate question is how can I push myself?

As I am writing this post, I am watching the Philippine edition of The Biggest Loser. What a coincidence..


2 thoughts on “I now hate weight

  1. ooouch! Natamaan din ako! Before I started nursing school 3 yrs ago, I am a mere 98 lbs. Now, I am 132 lbs. According to my nefarious sister, the answer to weight loss is discipline. Siya may disiplina, ako wala. I love eating. Maybe we should just stick with moderation, haha.

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