Nothing but my name

This is actually a late post. My previous post should have come after this. Nevertheless, I am sharing it.

The past few days have brought me some silent realizations about life. Back when I was still studying, my Nanay (mother) would always tell me of how much sacrifice Daddy makes in order to finance my schooling. However, my Nanay’s repeated reminder appeared to be a programmable thing to me. Her reminder in effect made no real and hard impact on me. My response was too artificial. I just kept quiet and allow my Nanay’s words enter my left ear and escape to my right ear. When I ask Nanay to buy me something, she would maintain the same answer. She would further add that I should study hard, finish school and when I’m already earning, I am already free to buy all of my wants in life.

My mother was partly correct. Daddy worked and sacrificed a lot. The thing is even though now I am already working, I can’t purchase everything I want. Before, I was blinded by the idea that when I grow up and earn my own money, I could literally buy everything I want.

The concept of scarcity of limited income is ironically what I failed to foresee before earning my degree in Economics. I will soon work and earn money. But money is always limited and hard earned. Therefore, fulfilling my unlimited and growing wants is almost near to impossibility.

I don’t want anymore to detail where and how of my recent realizations came from. Unfortunately, most of my realizations were products of some not so decent activities, which I thought would never have happened and committed by some people I knew.

The bottom line of everything is that given the chance to choose between a highly abundant life vs. a sufficiently endowed life, I would choose the latter.

If having a highly abundant life would mean backstabbing, kissing someone else’s ass, demeaning others, taking advantage of weaknesses, receiving bribes, and all those petty to major dirty activities, then I am wholeheartedly turning my back on those pieces of material comfort and ambitions.

I choose a life where blessings and materials things are sufficiently enough. Never mind all the money if at the end of day, people silently curse and continuously utter accusations against me. I’d rather be called poor and dumb who is on the contrary prized by priceless honor and dignity.

I am not perfect too. I made those stupid decisions once in a while. I become full of debts because of my impulse purchases. I sometimes get annoyed of minor things. I also feel envious of other people’s achievements. I am lazy. There are days I just end up crying and pitying myself. I criticize other people. I am not the best teacher. I am perfectly imperfect.

I was born and still lives with a family whose name was too ordinary to be heard and found. The entire world does not even know my family’s existence. However, I am still thankful that I was placed in this type of family. I love my family whose only possession is having a silent and unadulterated name.

You are correct Nanay. I’m starting to feel your words. Those wants are just material things. They would soon vanish. Money is designed to be spent and not to remain in your hands. A good name on the contrary is a long term investment. It’s a continuing hard earned investment that becomes a priceless lifetime achievement. If I have nothing else in life, I have nothing to hold on but my name.