Only God knows and only time could tell

I have something to be proud off myself today. Finally, I was able to watch a movie on my own! I know this sounds as a “so what?” news, especially for a 26-year-old grown up. But for me, the experience could equate to surpassing my first day as a friendless student in the university or the first time I managed to travel on my own.

Call it a twist of fate but the movie that I have watched somehow fit into my first time experience. I watched Julia Roberts’ Eat Pray Love, a movie that talks about searching and finding yourself and your happiness. I initially invited one of my girlfriends to join me on this movie date. But I felt that she was not really interested over the movie. I decided not to insist this thing on her. I chose to let go. Let go of a companion and allow myself to experience a mini adventure. Yes and I’m calling it an adventure!

I know that I appear to be making a big deal out of this experience. The simplest reason that I could give is I am gradually conditioning myself that in the future, there will be no one left but me. I have no one to depend and lean on, except myself. Time will come that I can’t depend on other people to shop, go places, and try out first hand experiences with me.

I don’t know if I should be proud of being able to conquer a new experience or I should feel disheartened because I’m beginning to acquire immunity over my solitary life. People might say that everything always depends on how you view things. It’s a matter of perception. But in my case, the answer is always the same; it’s easier said than done and experienced. The audience and the actor do not see the same things. The audience’s view is limited on the output or performance. On the contrary, the actor sees and experiences more than the actual performance.

Whatever it is that I am undergoing right now, I hope and pray that a “better me” would always emerge in the soonest possible.  In the end I have nothing to hold on but to believe that it’s only God who knows and only time could tell.

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